Joe Gillis: [who has just has a visit from two men trying to repossess his car] [narrating] Joe Gillis: I was way ahead of the finance company. I knew they'd be becoming around and I wasn't taking any chances. So I kept it across the street in a park...
Ed: Any zombies out there? Shaun: Don't say that! Ed: What? Shaun: That! Ed: What? Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it! Ed: Why not? Shaun: Because it's ridiculous! Ed: All right... are there any out there, though? [looking out of the letter-box, he se...
Sweeney Todd: You have a room over the shop, don't you? If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out? Mrs. Lovett: People think it's haunted. Sweeney Todd: Haunted? Mrs. Lovett: Yeah. And who's to say they're wrong? You see, years ago, something h...
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop, / Does a business, but I noticed something weird: / Lately all her neighbor's cats have disappeared. / Have to hand it to her, / What I calls / Enterprise / Popping pussies into pies. / Wouldn't do in ...
Judge Turpin: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit. Sweeney Todd: With fellow tastes... in women at least. Judge Turpin: [unsettled] What's that? Sweeney Todd: The years, no doubt, have changed me, sir. But then I suppose the face of a barber, ...
Mrs. Lovett: [placing a small pie on the counter] Here we are. Hot out of the oven. Sweeney Todd: What is THAT? Mrs. Lovett: [sings] It's priest. Have a little priest... Sweeney Todd: [sings] Is it really good? Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Sir, it's too good...
[the shaving contest has just started] Signor Adolfo Pirelli: Now, signorini, signori, / We mix-a da lather / But first-a you gather / Around, signorini, signori, / You looking a man / Who have had-a da glory / To shave-a da Pope! / Mr. Sweeney whoev...
[Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett buy what appears to be Pirelli's Miracle Elixir] Sweeney Todd: [opens the lid] What is this? Mrs. Lovett: What is this? Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss. Mrs. Lovett: [sniffs] Smells like, eww! Sweeney Todd: Looks like pis...
Sweeney Todd: [sings] The history of the world, my love... Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Save a lot of graves, does a lot of relatives favors. Sweeney Todd: Is those below serving those up above. Mrs. Lovett: Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of fla...
Signor Adolfo Pirelli: To shave-a da face/ To trim-a da beard/ To make-a da bristle/ Clean like a whistle/ Dis is from early infancy/ Da talent give to me/ By God./ It take-a da skill/ It take-a da brains/ It take-a da will/ To take-a da pains!/ It t...
Woody: [Woody is trying to find directions to Andy's house on Bonnie's mother's computer. Suddenly a chat window pops up, and Woody reads the username of its sender] Who's "Velocistar237"...? Trixie: [knocks Woody aside and starts typing frantically]...
Travis Bickle: All the animals come out at night - whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. I go all over. I take people to the Bronx, Brookly...
Jack: [deleted scenes] I never cared too much for all that Dadaism and Cubism. Just had no heart. Rose: I like some of it. Jack: Really? For me Paris was more about living on the streets and trying to put it on paper. Rose: You know, my dream has alw...
Doug MacRay: [knocks on the cash room door] In the cash room. Arnold Washton! You live at 311 Hazer Street in Quincy, with a wife named Linda and three small dogs. Do not make a distress call. Also in the cash room, Morton Previt. You live at 27 Coun...
[as they all observe the subway station] Ajax: Come on, what kind of chickenshit crap is this. Cochise: Yeah, come on? We're here, what are we waiting for? Fox: The train would help! Unless you wanna go up there and get jacked on an open platform. Co...
Jordan Belfort: On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my "back pain", Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocai...
Mark Hanna: You gotta stay relaxed. Do you jerk off? Jordan Belfort: Do I jerk off? Yeah. Mark Hanna: How many times a week? Jordan Belfort: Like um... three, three or four times maybe. Mark Hanna: All right, pump those numbers up, those are rookie n...
Jordan Belfort: So you listen to me and you listen well. Are you behind on you credit card bills? Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Does your girlfriend think yo...
Marv: [Bud has been ignoring him] What the hell is the matter with you? Things are so bad out there even the lifers are complaining, but not you. No. You're pulling in big money. So what's the score huh... Bud Fox: Hey LOOK! I am SICK and TIRED of pl...
Carl Fox: "There came into Egypt a Pharaoh who did not know." Gordon Gekko: I beg your pardon, is that a proverb? Carl Fox: No, a prophecy. The rich have been doing it to the poor since the beginning of time. The only difference between the Pyramids ...
[BlueStar stock has gone from 19 to 22 7/8 very quickly] Marv: Whew! Stock's going to Pluto, man. Bud Fox: Start unloading! Marv: What? SELL? Bud Fox: Dump it! Dump it all! Where's Lou? Marv: He's over there. [Marv gets on the phone] Marv: Ken, this ...
