It appears that countless women born between the years of 1965 and 1978 are in love with John Cusack. I cannot fathom how he isn't the number-one box office star in America, because every straight girl I know would see her soul to share a milkshake w...
Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be Vice President of the United States of America. Let's get that straight. She's a truly close personal friend. She is qualified to be President of the United States of America. She's ea...
The Beliebers have done some pretty crazy stuff. Last week, the night before I was due to do a show in Germany, four girls went into a dumpster so they could sneak into the building. They climbed in and hid. When the guys working on the truck started...
It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my new look he put down his fork and stared at me for a few moments. "A bow tie announces to the world you can no longer get an erection.
Nothing in the last few years has dazzled me more than Hilary Mantel's 'Wolf Hall,' which blew the top of my head straight off. I've read it three times, and I'm still trying to figure out how she put that magnificent thing together.
The way that I look at it is that, when we film for eight months straight for a new 'Jackass' movie, I know that I'm going to wind up with at least two broken bones. I don't know when it's going to happen, but you can't contemplate how you're going t...
We should cease to talk about vague and unreal objectives such as human rights, the raising of the living standards, and democratization. The day is not far off when we are going to have to deal in straight power concepts. The less we are then hamper...
We can have tax cuts, but when we have tax cuts and do not have a surplus, the amount of the tax cut goes straight to the bottom line, adds to the deficit, and the deficit adds to the national debt, and sooner or later, the debt has to be paid.
I challenge a man to a duel before allowing him near me, and then I take an arrow, dip it in poison, and drive it straight through his heart...But that's on a good day...when I purr and feel delightfully amorous. No need to mention what I'd do on a b...
I've played a lot of villains. The villains are always fun because you can just go fractionally bigger than life. It's always a grey area because you don't want to end up mustache-twirling and making them a little false, but you always get to play a ...
Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, Tijuana Mexico! Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no. Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes! [snaps his fingers and an incredibly elaborate lighting set-up is activated...
Raoul Duke: There's a uh, big machine in the sky, some kind of, I dunno, electric snake, coming straight at us. Dr. Gonzo: Shoot it. Raoul Duke: Not yet, I want to study its habits.
Lt. Col. Ocker: [Pluskat, inside a bunker, has just realized the Normandy invasion has begun and is warning Ocker, who is skeptical] And just where, my dear Pluskat, are those ships going? Maj. Werner Pluskat: Straight for me!
Frank Lopez: You know what a chazzer is? Tony Montana: No, Frank, you tell me. What is a chazzer? Frank Lopez: It's a Yiddish word for "pig." See, the guy, he wants more than what he needs. He don't fly straight no more.
Scottie: Midge, who do you know that's an authority on San Francisco history? Midge: That's the kind of greeting a girl likes! Not this "Hello-you-look-wonderful" stuff, just a good straight "Who do you know that's an authority on San Francisco his -...
I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on gettin...
When they told me I had cancer - a very rare form called appendiceal cancer - I was shocked. But I went straight into battle mode. Every morning, I'd wake up and have an internal conversation with cancer. 'All right, dude,' I'd tell it, 'go ahead and...
Early gay novels such as 'Giovanni's Room' and 'The City and the Pillar' were not nearly as important to me as Isherwood's 'A Single Man.' I mean, 'Giovanni's Room' is a very beautiful book, but in terms of gay politics, if you care about that, it's ...
While we women dilly-dally, making decisions, leaving jobs half done, forgetting where we've put the house keys while we water the Hoover and leave the laundry in the dishwasher, men, like blinkered horses, look straight ahead, oblivious to periphera...
Originally, I was against gay marriage because I was opposed to all marriage, being an old-fashioned gay bohemian. The straight people I knew in the sixties were very much opposed to it. I was, too, and it was never a possibility for gays, but when I...
Billy: I think I'm scared, Dad. Dad: That's okay, son. We're all scared. Billy: Well... if I don't like it, can I still come back? Dad: Are you kidding? We've let out your room. [straight face then laughter]
