Ralphie as Adult: [narrating, after Mother breaks the Old Man's Major Award, and he is unsuccessful at repairing it] With as much dignity as he could muster, the Old Man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered major award. Later that night, alon...
Mother: Randy, how do the little piggies go? Randy: [oinks like a pig] Mother: That's right. Oink, oink! Now show me how the piggies eat. [points to his plate] Mother: This is your trough. Show me how the piggies eat. Be a good boy. Show mommy how th...
Mr. Parker: [to Mother] You know, Zudock just bought one of those brand new green, plastic trees. Tree Man: Oh no! Mr. Parker: Darn thing looked like it was made of green pipe cleaners. Hee hee hee hee. Mother: It's a very nice tree. Tree Man: [quick...
Ralphie as Adult: Immediately, my feet began to sweat as those two fluffy little bunnies with a blue button eye stared sappily up at me. Mother: Come down so I can see you better. Ralphie as Adult: I just hope Flick would never spot them as a word of...
Mr. Parker: You filty sicken hook-aid! Oh, smelly wok buster! Grout shell fratten house stickle fifer! You bladder puss nut grafter! Dorton hoper... Ralphie as Adult: What happened next was a family controversy for years. Mr. Parker: You wart mundane...
Kim: [finishes her story to her granddaughter] She never saw him again. Not after that night. Granddaughter: How do you know? Kim: [takes off her glasses revealing herself] Because I was there. Granddaughter: You could've gone up there, you still cou...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Why, if I had half a chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage. The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called...
Raoul Duke: Panic. It crept up my spine like first rising vibes of an acid frenzy. All these horrible realities began to dawn on me. There I was. Alone in Las Vegas, completely twisted on drugs, no cash, no story for the magazine, and on top of every...
Tommy Doyle: I don't like that story anymore. Laurie: I thought King Arthur was your favorite. Tommy Doyle: Not anymore. [takes a stack of comics from under the couch] Laurie: Why do you keep them under there? Tommy Doyle: Mom doesn't like me having ...
George Bailey: I'm shakin' the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm gonna see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then, I'm comin' back here to go to college and see what they know. And then I'm gonna build things. ...
Lowell Bergman: In all that time, Mike, did you ever get out a plane, walk into a room and find that a source for a story changed his mind? Lost his heart? Walked out on us? Not one fucking time. You want to know why? Mike Wallace: I see a rhetorical...
Cosette: You will live, Papa you're going to live. It's too soon too soon to say goodbye. Jean Valjean: Yes Cosette, forbid me now to die I'll obey. I'll try. On this page I write my last confession. Read it well when I at last am sleeping. It's the ...
Dan: There's absolutely no way in the whole world for John to prove his story. Just like there's no way for us to disprove it. No matter how outrageous we think it is, no matter how highly trained some of us think we are, there's absolutely no way to...
Narrator: And there is the account of the hanging of three men, and a scuba diver, and a suicide. There are stories of coincidence and chance, of intersections and strange things told, and which is which and who only knows? And we generally say, "Wel...
Old Man: You worry about yourself. Are you ready for him? [refers to Calvera] Old Man: What if he comes now, huh? Vin: Reminds me of that fellow back home that fell off a ten story building. Chris: What about him? Vin: Well, as he was falling people ...
The Childlike Empress: It was the only way to get in touch with an earthling. Atreyu: But I didn't get in touch with an earthling! The Childlike Empress: Yes, you did. He has suffered with you. He went through everything you went through; and now, he...
Diana Christensen: Look, we've got a bunch of hobgoblin radicals called the Ecumenical Liberation Army who go around taking home movies of themselves robbing banks. Now, maybe they'll take movies of themselves kidnapping heiresses, hijacking 747s, bo...
Miracle Max: You got any money? Inigo Montoya: Sixty-five. Miracle Max: I've never worked for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause. Inigo Montoya: This is noble, sir. His wife is... crippled. His children are on the brink of starva...
Griffin Mill: So, what's the story? Walter Stuckel: Twenty-five words or less? Okay. Movie exec calls writer. Writer's girlfriend says he's at the movies. Exec goes to the movies, meets writer, drinks with writer. Writer gets conked and dies in four ...
Ada: I have told you the story of your father many many times. Flora: Oh, tell me again! Was he a teacher? Ada: Yes. Flora: How did you speak to him? Ada: I didn't need to speak. I could lay thoughts out in his mind like they were a sheet. Flora: Why...
Barbossa: For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died. I feel nothing. Not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea. Nor the warmth of a woman's flesh. [steps into moonli...
