Rupert Pupkin: [arguing with Masha] What about things that I did for you that no money can buy, no money can buy? What about the time I gave you my spot! You came over there, I gave you my spot! You stood there and I let you get right next to Jerry. ...
Jerry Langford: I'm sure you can understand. Doing the kind of show I'm doing, it's mind-boggling. There's so much stuff that comes down... you can't keep your head clear. And if that's the case, I'm wrong. You're right. I'm wrong. If I'm wrong, I ap...
Woman in Telephone Booth: [on the phone at a booth] Morris, you will not believe who is coming down here! [stops Jerry] Woman in Telephone Booth: Jerry Langford, right? Jerry Langford: Right. Woman in Telephone Booth: [talks on the phone again] Oh, M...
Kelly: Well Oddball, what do you think? Oddball: It's a wasted trip baby. Nobody said nothing about locking horns with no Tigers. Big Joe: Hey look, you just keep them Tigers busy and we'll take care of the rest. Oddball: The only way I got to keep t...
Johnny Rocco: There's only one Johnny Rocco. James Temple: How do you account for it? Frank McCloud: He knows what he wants. Don't you, Rocco? Johnny Rocco: Sure. James Temple: What's that? Frank McCloud: Tell him, Rocco. Johnny Rocco: Well, I want u...
Scout: I said, 'Hey,' Mr. Cunningham. How's your entailment getting along? [He turns and looks away] Scout: Don't you remember me, Mr. Cunningham? I'm Jean Louise Finch. You brought us some hickory nuts one early morning, remember? We had a talk. I w...
Jem: There goes the meanest man that ever took a breath of life. Dill Harris: Why is he the meanest man? Jem: Well, for one thing, he has a boy named Boo that he keeps chained to a bed in the house over yonder. Boo only comes out at night when you're...
Merlin: As some of you will have learned last night, teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman. We're here to enhance your skills and test you to the limit. Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy. Wherever you go, your dog goes. You will care for it. Yo...
Merlin: Hugo, Digby, you don't land in the K, you're not in the K. Rufus, you opened too soon. You're all over the radar. All three of you, pack your bags. Go home. [the three candidates leave] Merlin: Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations. You set a new reco...
Merlin: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin. You are about to embark on what is probably the most dangerous job interview in the world. One of you, and only one of you, will become the next Lancelot. [Grabs bag on bed] Merlin: Can anybody tell me...
Press Conference Reporter: Mr. President, has it been a good visit? The President: Very satisfactory indeed. We got what we came for, and our special relationship is still very special. Press Conference Reporter: Prime Minister? Prime Minister: I lov...
Juliet: I thought I might be able to swap it for some pie or... or maybe Munchies? Mark: Actually, I was being serious. I don't know where it is. I'll have a poke around tonight... Juliet: Mark, can I say something? Mark: Yeah. Juliet: I know you're ...
Colin: Exciting news! Tony: What? Colin: I've bought a ticket to the States. I'm off in three weeks. Tony: No! Colin: Yes! To a fantastic place called Wisconsin. Tony: No! Colin: Yes! Wisconsin babes, here comes Sir Colin! Whoo hoo! Tony: No, Col! Th...
Matthias: Look, I don't think it should be a sin, just for saying "Jehovah". [Everyone gasps] Jewish Official: You're only making it worse for yourself! Matthias: Making it worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah! Jewish Official: I'm w...
Centurion: Where is Brian of Nazareth? Brian: You sanctimonious bastards! Centurion: I have an order for his release! Brian: You stupid bastards! Mr. Cheeky: Uh, I'm Brian of Nazareth. Brian: What? Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, I - I - I'm Brian of Nazareth. Cen...
Captain Dudley Smith: Edmund, you're a political animal. You have the eye for human weakness, but not the stomach. Ed Exley: You're wrong, sir. Captain Dudley Smith: Would you be willing to plant corroborative evidence on a suspect you knew to be gui...
Johnny Stompanato: You want an autograph? Write to MGM. Ed Exley: Since when do two-bit hoods and hookers give out autographs? Johnny Stompanato: What'd you say to me? Ed Exley: LAPD. Sit down. Lana Turner: Who in the hell do you think you are? Jack ...
Julien Jeanvier: [as Julien is fleeing from the police] Sophie was back in the game! Pure, raw, explosive pleasure! Better than drugs, better than smack! Better than a dope-coke-crack-fix-shit-shoot-sniff-ganja-marijuana-blotter-acid-ecstasy! Better ...
Bill Dayton: The police called us today. Pete Dayton: What'd they want? Bill Dayton: They wanted to know if we had a chance to find out what happened to you the other night. And they wanted to know if you remembered anything. Pete Dayton: But... I do...
[Guran is coming in to bat] British Team Member: Coming from the jungle? [men laughing] British Team Member 2: Make way! [men laughing] British Team Member: Don't get too close, Smithy! [men laughing] British Team Member 2: What on Earth is he doing?...
Saruman: You have fought many wars and slain many men, Theoden King, and made peace afterwards. Can we not take council as we once did, my old friend? Can we not have peace? Theoden: We shall have peace... We shall have peace, when you answer for the...
