Christof: As Truman grew up, we were forced to manufacture ways to keep him on the island. [flashback to Truman at school] Young Truman: I like to be an explorer, like the great Magellan. Teacher: [rolling down a map of the world] Oh, you're too late...
Bobby Jay Bliss: The way I heard it, D.C. police found you naked, laying in Lincoln's crotch, covered in nicotine patches with a sign across your chest that said... Polly Bailey: He doesn't need to hear the details. Bobby Jay Bliss: It was some prett...
Old Rose: [about Jack drawing her naked] My heart was pounding the whole time. It was the most erotic moment of my life. Up until then, at least. Lewis Bodine: So what happened next? Old Rose: You mean, did we "do it"? Sorry to disappoint you Mr. Bod...
Carl Fredricksen: This is crazy. I finally meet my childhood hero and he's trying to kill us. What a joke. Dug: Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny b...
Police Officer Edith: [after Carl gets back from the courtroom, at night] Sorry, Mr. Fredricksen. You don't seem like a public menace to me. Take this. [she hands him a Shady Oaks Retirement Village brochure] Police Officer Edith: The guys from Shady...
[the Bunch has just escaped from bounty hunters by blowing up a bridge] Dutch Engstrom: At least we won't have to worry about Deke Thornton. Pike Bishop: [laughs] Hell, no; not after ridin' a half a case of dynamite into the river! Sykes: [calmly] We...
Mrs. Gloop: You boiled him up, I know it. Willy Wonka: Nil desperandum, my dear lady. Across the desert lies the promised land. [Mrs. Gloop is led away to the fudge room] Willy Wonka: Goodbye, Mrs. Gloop. Adieu. Aufwiedersehen. Gesundheit. Farewell.
Willy Wonka: The Egg-dicator can tell the difference between a good egg and a bad egg. If it's a good egg, it's shined up and shipped out all over the world. But if it's a bad egg, down the chute. Grandpa Joe: [whispering to Charlie] It's an educated...
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: What can I get for you, good-lookin'? Touchdown Man at Deli Counter: Half pound of egg salad. Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: HALF POUND OF EGG SALAD, COMIN' UP! Touchdown Man at Deli Counter: Is it fresh? Randy 'The Ram' Robinson...
Sergeant Calhoun: All right, listen up, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once! "Fear" is a four-letter word, ladies! You wanna go pee-pee in your big-boy slacks, keep it to yourself! It's "make your mamas proud" time! Wreck-It Ralph: I love my mamma!
Smart Ass: Okay, wise-guy. Where's the rabbit? Eddie Valiant: Haven't seen 'im. Smart Ass: [sniffs suspiciously at the sink] What's in there? Eddie Valiant: [holds up a dirty sock] My lingerie. Smart Ass: [yelps, winces, and covers his nose] I see, V...
Judge Doom: Have they got the will or not? Smart Ass: Nah, just a stupid love letter. Judge Doom: No matter. I doubt the will'll show up in the next fifteen minutes, anyway. Eddie Valiant: What happens in the next fifteen minutes? Judge Doom: Toontow...
Stu: You owe me some money. Stu's friend: Come on, Stu. Stu: No one takes a beating like that without a mark to show for it. Stu's friend: Come on, Stu... Stu: [leans in, whispering] I know what you are. Wolverine: You lost your money. You keep this ...
Wichita: [playing Monopoly] Ooh! Free parking... Little Rock: Yeah. Wichita: -which coincidentally is the best thing about Zombieland. Columbus: You want to know the best thing about Z-land? No- no Facebook status updates. You know, Rob Curtis is gea...
People don't know about the human part of me that really cares about the world. For instance, I don't know what I feel about wearing my furs anymore. I worked so hard to have a fur coat, and I don't want to wear it anymore because I'm so wrapped up i...
I hate first drafts, and it never gets easier. People always wonder what kind of superhero power they'd like to have. I wanted the ability for someone to just open up my brain and take out the entire first draft and lay it down in front of me so I ca...
One night, I lay awake for hours, just terrified. When the dawn finally came up - the comfortable blue sky, the familiar world returning - I could think of no other way to express my relief than through poetry. I made a decision there and then that i...
I'm just one woman away, my mother, from being the same as Mike Tyson. I would've ended up like him if my mama had not been so tough and strong. A lot of people, including Mike, don't know I came from the ghetto. They think I'm too nice and proper. B...
Bad acting comes in many bags, various odors. It can be performed by cardboard refugees from an Ed Wood movie, reciting their dialogue off an eye chart, or by hopped-up pros looking to punch a hole through the fourth wall from pure ballistic force of...
I don't know a lot of show runners. I mean I met a lot of them in picket lines. I'm not part of a, like, secret society or pickup basketball game. As far as I'm concerned, pick-up basketball games are secret societies. They confuse me. I've never bee...
Quite honestly I never had a desire to be an actor. I tell people, I did not choose acting; acting chose me. I never grew up wanting to be an actor. I wanted to play football. In about 9th grade an English teacher told me I had a talent to act. He sa...
