I tried picking my nose once, but I was too indecisive. I would tell you I love you, but I can’t decide if maybe I’m not really in love with your clone.
From across the bar, I saw her see me seeing her see me, and I knew that she knew, and with all this knowledge and vision I figured it must be love. But I could be wrong, because it turns out that I need glasses.
Words can have a healing effect. The words “I love you” can stop bleeding faster than a Band-Aid. It’s true. It worked for me after I stabbed my grandpa.
Love me for me, not for how much I resemble my clones, or how handsome they are, or how brilliant they are, or how much you want to have sex with all of them, at once, in my basement, while I film.
The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you.
You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down.
3.5 billion men in the world all share one I love you. That’s why men rarely say it, because there is only one in the world for the whole gender to share and take turns using.
Love is a gift that costs nothing to give. Love is also the most valuable thing in the world. Think about that next time you’re tempted to call me a cheap bastard because I didn’t buy you a birthday present.
A rose will wilt in short time, but my garden is more vivacious for having one in it. Love is even more fragrant, but often just as fragile and fleeting, but I eagerly accept the joy of it now, knowing the cost is the pain of loss later.
Who’d win in a battle of who has the most love, me or Cupid? My money’s on me. Literally. All the money I have in the world is on me at the moment. And if you feel like betting, $7.37 would get you $14.74.
I fed her a placebo, a sugar pill, and then tried to sugarcoat the truth. The truth was I was lying when I said I loved her. Oh, I it was true I loved her, but not when I said I did.
I know that I come from mid-20th century America, urban, specifically downtown New York, specifically an Italian-American area, Roman Catholic - that's who I am. And a part of what I know is there's a decency to people who tried to make a living in t...
I learn my lines while on the golf course. I try to do two or three things at once. I have ideas for books all the time, I have ideas for paintings all the time, and I write them all down. I take my sketchpad and my iPad, which I design on, and I do ...
I write love quotes for all ages—Teenagers, Young Adults, and even the Middle Ages—like between the years of 1200-1700. Erasmus loves my work. Well, probably he does, but as he’s dead you really can’t prove he doesn’t approve of my work.
She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you" with "May I take your order?
His haircut looked like a spinning Frisbee on his forehead, and that’s why I fell in love. Because his girlfriend got tired of stray dogs trying to catch his face, and she liked that I attracted cats with my catnip body odor.
Vanessa Sky Ellis scours the streets of NYC looking for celebrities to take selfies with, while I scrounge up quarters to try to buy love out of vending machines. I have had sex with more plastic bottles than I care to take pictures of.
She wasn’t much for words, but she told me she loved me in other ways, like showing me her main superpower—invisibility. I often wouldn’t see her for weeks straight, and for her to show me the unshowable showed a lot of trust in our relationshi...
I loved her bravely, like a fighter turned sprinter. I loved her so fiercely that I never even dared speak of my feelings. And because I displayed as much passion as a statue, our relationship stood perfectly still and never moved anywhere.
I tried to save money by saving time and not showing up to work. I had more important things to do, like sleep. If I lived in Paris, I’d probably be considered a romantic, but since I’m an American I have to conceal my true identity with the labe...
What does it say about me that I don’t say much? It doesn’t say I love you, and that’s sad, because when I ignore you, that’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you.
