Mr. Garrison: What is five times two? [No response from the class] Mr. Garrison: Now come on children, don't be shy, just give it your best shot. [Clive raises his hand] Clive: Twelve. Mr. Garrison: OK, now lets try to get an answer from someone who'...
Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else? Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?
Mr. Mackey: I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay? Kyle: Nowhere. Stan: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before. Mr. Mackey: Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelu...
Mr. Mackey: I guess I'll have to send a warning letter out to parents before more children see Terrence & Phillip. Cartman: Everybody's fucking seen it. Mrs. Cartman: Eric! Cartman: I'm sorry I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile litt...
everyone: [singing] Thank God we live in this quiet, little, pissant, redneck, podunk, jerkwater, greenhorn, one-horse, mudhole, peckerwood, right-wing, whistle-stop, hobnail, truck-driving, old-fashioned, hayeseed, inbred, unkempt, out-of-date, whit...
[the Mole ordered Cartman to disable the army camp alarms, but to his surprise the alarms sound when he tries to rescue Terrance and Phillip and he gets set upon by a pack of wild guard dogs, which he manages to escape from] The Mole: [Bloody & morta...
Kyle: You don't think they're really going to kill Terrence and Phillip, do you? Cartman: Kyle you need to stop being such a chicken shit and stand up to your mother!, you need to smack her in the face and say that's enough of your shit you fucking b...
Sheila Broflovski: Kyle you are grounded for two weeks. Sharon Marsh: You too Stan. Mrs. Cartman: And you're grounded for three weeks Eric. Cartman: Hey! Why am I grounded more that's fuckin' bullshit! Mrs. Cartman: What, what, what? What was that wo...
'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to do great stuff. And 'Family Guy' and the various other Seth MacFarlane projects are amazing.
If you're doing an animated comedy on the same channel as 'South Park,' no one can really tell you anything. The bar has been set so high.
I guess that compared to other comic strips, I'm edgy. But put me along something like 'South Park,' and I'm 'Captain Kangaroo.'
I grew up addicted to 'Star Trek' and 'Mission: Impossible.' Now I switch between 'South Park' and 'C-Span.'
I grew up in Dolton, just south of Chicago, about a 20-minute drive from old Comiskey Park.
Hearing that the same men who brought us 'South Park' were mounting a musical to be called 'The Book of Mormon,' we were tempted to turn away, as from an inevitable massacre.
Having stretched the boundaries some, I'm perfectly content now to work within them. 'Doonesbury' doesn't need to become 'South Park.' You won't ever see any singing turds.
I'm launching my own festival in South Wales. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. It's going to be held at Margam Park, because I wanted the venue to be as close to my home as possible.
It's funny because 'The Book of Mormon' is 'The Book of Mormon' now. When I was doing it at the very beginning, and I was a part of it for four years and always believed in it, I never really knew if it was going to be more than a convention for 'Sou...
It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want.
The separate water foundations, park benches, bathrooms and restaurants of the Jim Crow South startled me. These experiences motivated my lifelong study of the status of African Americans and the sources of improvement in that status.
[Kenny has just died in the hospital] Cartman: I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him a hundred dollars. Kyle: It's not your fault, Cartman. Cartman: Dude, I know, I'm just fuckin' stoked I don't have to pay him. Kyle: Oh, that's real nice! He was yo...
Chorus: [singing] Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucker. You're a boner biting bastard, Uncle Fucker. Terrence: You're an uncle fucker, I must say. Phillip: Well you fucked your uncle yesterday. Terrance, Phillip: Uncle Fucker. That's U-N-C-L-E FUCK Y...
