Voice on Radio: And so, the draft will being tomorrow as more and more troops are needed to invade the Canadian border. The Canadian government pleads for a peaceful resolution, but naturally, we're not listening.
Cartman: [Realizing he still has Mr. Hat] Why the hell am I still holding this thing for? [Throws him away] Mr. Garrison: [From off screen] Mr. Hat, no!
Cartman: Aw, screw it. It probably isn't all that good anyway. Kyle: Cartman! What the hell are you talking about? You LOVE Terrance and Philiip! Cartman: Yeah, but the animation is all crappy.
Sheila Broflovski: Nooo! [shoots Terrence and Phillip with a gun] Kyle: Holy shit, dude! Sheila Broflovski: Young man, you watch your mouth. [blood oozes out of Phillip's body]
To this day, good English usually means the English wealthy and powerful people spoke a generation or two ago.
[Finishing his "Kyle's Mom" song] Cartman: Kyle's Mom... She's a big, fat, fuckin' BIIIIIIIIITCH! Who's a fuckin' bitch? Kyle's Mooooooooom! Yeah! [Notices Kyle's mom standing behind him] Cartman: Oh fuck.
Gregory: I must say, I don't believe I belong here with these rogues. I transferred from Yardale where I had a 4.0 grade point average. Cartman: You're a fucking faggot, dude.
Kyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman. Cartman: Let's see, hmm, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy. Kyle: Fine! Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy!
Brian Dennehy: Did someone say my name? Stan: Who are you? Brian Dennehy: I'm Brian Dennehy. Kyle: What? No, not fuckin' Brian Dennehy! Stan: Get the fuck out of here! Brian Dennehy: Oh. Bye.
Jimbo Kearn: Oh boy, military action, Ned, we're gonna kill us some goddam Australians! Ned Gerblanski: I think we're fighting Canadians. Jimbo Kearn: Canadians, Australians, what's the difference?
[at a spelling bee] Teacher: The word is "forensics". Kid: Ah, fuck that. Why should we fucking have to spell forensics? [cheers from kids in audience] Kid: S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S. Forensics.
Army General: [shouting] You told us that windows 98 would be faster, and more efficient with better access to the internet! Bill Gates: It IS faster! Over five million... [General shoots Bill Gates and everyone cheers]
Mrs. Cartman: [singing "Blame Canada"] And my little boy eric, had my picture on his shelf / And now when he sees me he tells me to go fuck myself!
The Mole: You MUST shut of the alarms! I fucking hate guard dogs! Cartman: Yeah, I heard you the first time you British piece of shit. [gets shocked by the V-chip] Cartman: Owww!
Kyle: Hey, Mole, be careful. The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb? Stan: Man, that kid is fucked up!
[Just finished watching Terrence and Phillip's motion picture] Kyle: Dude, that movie was fucking sweet! Cartman: You bet your fuckin' ass it was! Stan: Fuck, dude, I wanna be just like Terrence and Phillip!
Stan: Listen Mr. homeless man, if you don't wanna buy us the tickets and not get your ten bucks and not buy yourself a bottle of vodka, then be my guest. Homeless man: Six tickets please!
Stan: Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy? Chef: Oh, that's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris. Stan: Huh? Chef: Whoops.
Woman in Theatre: [Terrence And Phillip are singing "Uncle Fucka", and two movie patrons walk out in the middle of the song] What garbage! Man in Theatre: Well, what do you expect, they're Canadian!
Sheila Broslofski: [singing] Blame Canada! Blame Canada! It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along. Blame Canada! Blame Canada! Man in Chorus: [singing] They're not even a real country anyway.
Satan: The time of prophecy is upon us! Saddam Hussein: I love when you get all biblical, Satan! You know exactly how to turn my crank. Satan: No, I'm being serious!
