Frank: I am going to get something to drink. You want anything? Grandpa: Yeah, get me some porn. Get me something really nasty too, I don't want any of that airbrushed shit. Frank: Okay. Grandpa: Okay, here's a $20. Get yourself a little treat too, g...
Mayor Tilman: [talking to a reporter] If the entire Secret Service couldn't protect the President of the United States, how the HELL are *we* supposed to protect a few negroes! It is nothing more than some poor white trash drinking too much cheap alc...
Gretel McAlbertson: Why are you stealing food? Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you're out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back. Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it...
John Oldman: I had a chance to sail with Columbus, only I'm not the adventurous type. I was pretty sure the earth was round, but at that point I still thought he *might* fall off an edge some place. The Group: [incredulous looks all around the room] ...
Max Jerry Horovitz: I have also invented some new words. "Confuzzled", which is being confused and puzzled at the same time, "snirt", which is a cross between snow and dirt, and "smushables", which are squashed groceries you find at the bottom of the...
Isaac Davis: I got a kid, he's being raised by two women at the moment. Mary Wilke: Oh, y'know, I mean I think that works. Uh, they made some studies, I read in one of the psychoanalytic quarterlies. You don't need a male, I mean. Two mothers are abs...
Sean Devine: [on the phone with Lauren] Okay. "Hey Sean, how was your day?" Oh me? I'm tired of wishing things made sense. I'm tired of caring about some dead girl, and there's just gonna be another one after her. Sending killers to jail is just send...
Capt. Jack Aubrey: [examining some sheet music on the floor below deck in the Acheron. A French sailor, whom Aubrey thought was dead, suddenly leaps at him. Aubrey stops the sailors' dagger just in time. Aubrey puts his cutlass to the sailors' head. ...
Aunt Flo: Martha, where's Bart and Cole? Aunt Martha: Oh, they're off doing some volunteer work picking up trash off the streets. Kate Grant: It's community service; for Bart's rape. Aunt Martha: Sexual assault! Kate Grant: What's the difference? Aun...
Lock: [singing] I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door, and then, knock three times, and when he answers, Sandy Claws will be no more! Shock: [singing] You're so stupid! Think now! If we blow him up to smithereens, we may lose some pieces! L...
Young Noah: [raising fists in air] Dad! God... I stammered! Frank: Stammered, stuttered... what's the difference. You couldn't understand a damn thing he said. [Allie laughing] Frank: Anyway, I got him to read some poetry aloud and pretty soon his st...
[Patsy meets Peggy] Young Peggy: What do you want? Young Patsy: Me? Young Peggy: Mama said you were looking for me. Young Patsy: No, the guys told me that... [pause] Young Patsy: What? Young Patsy: I'll come back some other time... [leaves post-haste...
Peter Gibbons: Hey, guys. Michael Bolton: What's up, G? Peter Gibbons: Want to go to Chotchkie's? Get some coffee? Samir: Oh, it's a little early. Peter Gibbons: I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it. Female Temp: Uh-oh. Sounds like someb...
[Josey and Lone Watie are relaxing after Moonlight has cooked for them] Lone Watie: That meal was damn good. I'm gonna take up teepee livin' if it's like this. You know she thinks I'm some kind of a Cherokee chief. Josey Wales: I wonder where she eve...
Carpetbagger: Your young friend could use some help. [holds up a bottle of patent medicine] Carpetbagger: This is it... one dollar a bottle. It works wonders on wounds. Josey Wales: Works wonders on just about everything, eh? Carpetbagger: It can do ...
Tom Baxter: I guess I have to get a job. Cecilia: That's not gonna be so easy either - right now the whole country's out of work. Tom Baxter: Well, then, we'll live on love. We'll have to make some concessions, but so what? We'll have each other Ceci...
Betty Parker: [Betty is in color, George is still black & white] George, look at me. Look at my face. That meeting is not for me. George Parker: You'll put on some make-up. Betty Parker: I don't want to put on make-up. George Parker: It'll go away. I...
Olivia Wenscombe: You married her. You had a child with her. Alfred Borden: Yes. Part of me did. But the other part... the other part didn't. The part that found you, the part that's sitting here right now. Olivia Wenscombe: You could be in some othe...
Sergeant Mac Eliot: Goddamn! Shew. Buddy buddy-buddy-buddy-buddy. I've seen some bad-ass bush before, man, but nothin' like this. Blain: I hear ya. This shit's somethin'. Makes Cambodia look like Kansas. Sergeant Mac Eliot: Hey, que pasa, amigo? Litt...
Samuel Stote: What's a misanthrope, Arthur? Two Bob: Some bugger who fuckin' hates every other bugger. Samuel Stote: Hey, I didn't ask you, you black bastard Arthur Burns: He's right Samuel. A misanthrope is one who hates humanity. Samuel Stote: Is t...
Jellon Lamb: Perhaps you've read "On the Origin of the Species By Means of Natural Selection" by Charles Darwin. Oh, don't be thrown by the title, he had some most fascinating things to say. Chilling things. Mr. Darwin spent time studying Aboriginals...
