Raoul Duke: Don't take any guff from these swine. If you have any trouble, remember, you can always send a telegram to the Right People. Dr. Gonzo: Yeah, Explaining my Position. Some asshole wrote a poem about that once. Probably good advice if you h...
Melvin Udall: [enters his psychiatrist's office] Hi. [shuts door] Melvin Udall: *Help!* Dr. Green: If you want to see me, you will not do this. You will make an appointment. Melvin Udall: Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive compul...
Cheese: You got my money, you leave that shit in the mailbox on your ass way out, you feel me? Some other motherfuckers let fool rob on them. I don't play scrimmage. But I don't fuck with no kids. And if that girl only hope is you, well, I pray for h...
Will: See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you're gonna staht doin some thinkin on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certaintees in life. One, don't do that. And Two, you dropped a hundred and fifty ...
[alternate wording from cable TV version] Dr Ray Stantz: Your honor, our system was working just fine until the power grid was turned off by wally wick here. Walter Peck: They caused an explosion! Mayor: [to Venkman] Is this true? Dr. Peter Venkman: ...
[about the unrest in Cuba] Michael Corleone: I saw a strange thing today. Some rebels were being arrested. One of them pulled the pin on a grenade. He took himself and the captain of the command with him. Now, soldiers are paid to fight; the rebels a...
Vince Walker: I met him once. Collins: You mean Gandhi? Vince Walker: Yeah, in South Africa, a long time ago. I wonder if he'll recognize me. Collins: What was he like? Vince Walker: He had a full head of hair then. We were a bit like college student...
Dr. Cohen: You know, our bodies are capable of doing some very funny things when they're consumed by stress and anxiety. Uh, I found my ex-best friend's cufflinks in my wife's purse. I couldn't get an erection for a year and a half. For example. Andr...
[Enid is looking through some posters at Seymour's place and discovers this grotesque, racist caricature of a black man's face - the logo of Coon Chicken Inn] Enid: What the...? What is this, Seymour? Seymour: Oh, that. I borrowed that from work abou...
Enid: [Enid is reading a note clipped to her diploma] What? Rebecca: What? Enid: These assholes are saying I have to go to summer school and take some stupid art class. Rebecca: Why? Enid: God, I didn't think that just because you get an "F" you have...
Rod McCallister: Who's gonna feed your spider while we're gone? Buzz McCallister: He just ate a whole load of mice guts. He should be good for a couple of weeks. Say... isn't it true that French babes don't shave their pits? Rod McCallister: Some don...
Annie Brackett: [Michael Myers' car cruises by the girls walking home from school] Hey, jerk! Speed kills! [the car screeches to a halt] Annie Brackett: God, can't he take a joke? Laurie: You know Annie some day you're going to get us all in deep tro...
Skip Tyler: When I was twelve, I helped my daddy build a bomb shelter in our basement because some fool parked a dozen warheads 90 miles off the coast of Florida. Well, this thing could park a coupla hundred warheads off Washington and New York and n...
Paul Rusesabagina: All day long I work to please this officer, that diplomat, some tourist to store up favors so if there is a time when we need help I have powerful people I can call upon. Tatiana Rusesabagina: But Victor was a good neighbor. Paul R...
Wilson: Hello, sweetheart. Well, well. Those for me? Veta Louise Simmons: [Picking flowers] For you? I should say not. They're for my brother, Elwood. He's devoted to ranunculur. Wilson: Sure. Well, wouldn't you like to come inside and pick some off ...
Gandalf: [talking inside The Prancing Pony] I ran into some unsavory characters whilst traveling along the Greenway. They mistook me for a vagabond. Thorin Oakenshield: I imagine they regretted that. Gandalf: One of them was carrying a message. [Gand...
Smaug: It's Oakenshield. That filthy Dwarvish usurper! He sent you in here for the Arkenstone, didn't he? Bilbo Baggins: No no no no no, I have no idea what you're talking about... Smaug: Don't bother denying it! I guessed his foul purpose some time ...
Draco Malfoy: You'll soon find out that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don't wanna go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there. [he holds out his hand, which Harry doesn't take] Harry: I think I can tell t...
Dudley Dursley: [on Dudley's birthday] How many are there? Uncle Vernon: 36, counted them myself. Dudley Dursley: 36! But last year, last year I had 37! Uncle Vernon: Yes, yes, but some of them are quite a bit bigger than last year. Dudley Dursley: I...
Vincent Hanna: You know what? Neil is gone. Bam! Flying like a bird. Detective Casals: Vincent, how do you? We still got bait. Maybe some time. Vincent Hanna: Got. Got. What've we got? *What've we got?* Bon voyage, motherfucker. You were good. I'm go...
Neil McCauley: [has gun on a severely injured Waingro] Neil McCauley: Look at me. *Look at me!* Waingro: [doesn't want to and whimpers] Neil McCauley: Look at me! Waingro: [slowly pathetically looks upward] Neil McCauley: [fires two shots into Waingr...
