Thorin Oakenshield: Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting? Bilbo Baggins: Pardon me? Thorin Oakenshield: Axe or sword, what's your weapon of choice? Bilbo Baggins: [proudly] Well I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know.
Martin: You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If you're honest you're poor your whole life and in the end you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothi...
Ambassador Andrei Lysenko: There is another matter... one I'm reluctant to... Dr. Jeffrey Pelt: Please. Ambassador Andrei Lysenko: One of our submarines, an Alfa, was last reported in the area of the Grand Banks. We have not heard from her for some t...
Hermione Granger: How'd you get away? Ginny Weasley: Puking Pastilles. It wasn't pretty. Ron Weasley: Told them I was hungry and wanted some sweets. Of course, they told me to bugger off and ate the lot themselves. Hermione Granger: [shocked] That wa...
Jeffrey Wigand: I have to put my family's welfare on the line here, my friend! And what are you puttin' up? You're puttin' up words! Lowell Bergman: Words? While you've been dickin' around at some fucking company golf tournaments, I been out in the w...
Diner Fight Guy 1: The fuck is wrong with you, man? You'd rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know? Dave Lizewski: The three assholes, laying into one guy while everybody else watches? And you wanna know what's wrong with me...
Big Chris: I've got some bad news for you, John. John: What the fuck? [Chris closes tanning parlor on John] Big Chris: Mind your language in front of the boy! John: Jesus Christ! [Chris does it again] Big Chris: That includes blasphemy as well!
Richard: It's this Sunday? Why can't Jeff and Cindy take her? Sheryl: They have some equestrian thing in Santa Barbara. Richard: You know, they do that horse shit every-single-weekend. Sheryl: Well, it's the nationals. They're taking both horses, so ...
Sam Spade: All we've got is that maybe you love me and maybe I love you. Brigid O'Shaughnessy: You know whether you love me or not. Sam Spade: Maybe I do. I'll have some rotten nights after I've sent you over, but that'll pass.
[On her ex-husband] Mary Wilke: I was tired of submerging my identity to a very brilliant, dominating man. He's a genius. Isaac Davis: Oh really, he was a genius, Helen's a genius and Dennis is a genius. You know a lot of geniuses, y'know. You should...
Isaac Davis: I think that, under my personal vibrations, I could put her life in some kind of good order. Yale: Yeah, that's what you said about Jill, and under your personal vibrations she went from bisexuality to homosexuality. Isaac Davis: Yeah, b...
Herb Brooks: [to Patti on the phone] We were taxiing out to the runway, right? And we, you know, we kind of hit a moose. No, the moose is fine, but we gotta make sure that the plane's all right, so some of the boys are pushing it back so these guys c...
[Trapper is guest of honor at a party celebrating his appointment as Chief Surgeon] Trapper John: ...No, no, no food, no food! Sex! I want sex! Give me some sex! [notices Hot-Lips across the mess tent] Trapper John: No, no, no, that one, the sultry b...
Mr. Allen, Master: What is it? Curious, eh? Some type of gull. Mr. Allen, Master: [Sees a marine iguana] There's an ugly devil. Williamson, Midshipman: Disgusting Williamson, Midshipman: It's got warts all over it. Mr. Allen, Master: [Chuckling] Ugly...
Judge Anson B. Flynn: How long have you known your client? Victor Larrabee: Seven years, Your Honor. Judge Anson B. Flynn: Do you know him to be a reasonable man? Victor Larrabee: Absolutely. Clara Thornhill: Ha! Roger Thornhill: Mother. Judge Anson ...
[In 1968, Noodles notices a picture] Noodles: What is this? Carol: Opening night. Fifteen years ago. Noodles: [pointing at a familiar person in the picture] Who's this? Carol: Patron saint of the place. Some actress. Noodles: Do you know her? Carol: ...
Stanley Goodspeed: Look, I'm just a biochemist. Most of the time, I work in a little glass jar and lead a very uneventful life. I drive a Volvo, a beige one. But what I'm dealing with here is one of the most deadly substances the earth has ever known...
Skinner: Surely you don't expect me to believe this is your first time cooking? Linguini: It's not. Skinner: I KNEW IT! Linguini: It's my... second, third, fourth, fifth time. Monday was my first time. But I've taken out the garbage lots of times bef...
Royal: Chas has those boys cooped up like a pair of jackrabbits, Ethel. Ethel: He has his reasons. Royal: Oh, I know that, but you can't raise boys to be scared of life. You gotta brew some recklessness into them. Ethel: I think that's terrible advic...
Doyle: Believe in the Bible, do ya Karl? Karl: I don't understand all of it, but I reckon I understand a good deal of it. Doyle: Well I can't understand none of it. This one begat that one and that one begat this one, and lo and behold someone says s...
Dwight: Most people think Marv is crazy. He just had the rotten luck of being born in the wrong century. He'd be right at home on some ancient battlefield swinging an axe into somebody's face. Or in a Roman arena, taking his sword to other gladiators...
