Since I didn't have a candy wrapper to help me with the bad connection I was about to have, I resorted to using vocal sound effects. When Agent Carson picked up, I started my performance. "Agent... Agent Carson," I said, panting into the phone. "Yes,...
When there were no customers, he thought about geometry. He tried to perform the Pythagorean Theorem on the light fixture above him, given his estimate of its circumference, but he failed. He wanted to be good at math. But he just wasn’t. He wanted...
[Neil's father has just driven him home from his performance in "A Midsummer Night's Dream."] Mr. Perry: We're trying very hard to understand why it is that you insist on defying us. Whatever the reason, we're not gonna let you ruin your life. Tomorr...
Mrs. X: Henry, may I speak to you a minute? Over here. Did you and Mary have sexual intercourse? Henry Spencer: [stammering] Why? Mrs. X: Did you? Henry Spencer: Why are you asking me this question? Mrs. X: I have a very good reason, and now I want y...
Ed, the car salesman: I'll get to the bottom of this. Davenport! Davenport: Yes, Mr. Ed? Ed, the car salesman: Mr. Griswold ordered a blue sports wagon, where is it? Davenport: I don't know sir. Ed, the car salesman: [to Clark] I know what must have ...
[Salim and Jamal are sitting on the edge of an apartment floor, under construction] Older Salim: That... used to be our slum. Can you believe that, huh? [pointing at something] Older Salim: We used to live right there, man. Now, it's all business. In...
Travis Bickle: [Walks up to Sport] Hey Sport. How ya doin'? Sport: Okay, okay my man, how... Where do I know you from, man? Travis Bickle: I don't know. How's everything in the pimp business, huh? Sport: Do I know you? Travis Bickle: No. Do I know yo...
Say a white boy takes a wrong turn and comes to my hood," he once said. "Now he's in the minority––nobody wants him there, unless it's to rob his ass––and more than anything he has to think about how to protect himself, how to get out. There'...
