Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible things.' I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as s...
Just when the air turns frosty and the days shrink into darkness, the Christmas season arrives in America. It begins at Thanksgiving--with families, feasts and football. Then during the next six weeks we shop and decorate, worship and make merry. Our...
Sam: Why do you consider me your enemy? Redford: Because your girlfriend stabbed me in the back with lefty scissors. Sam: She's my wife now. Redford: Congratulations! Sam: Thank you. But I'm saying before that, six weeks ago, from day one, why didn't...
Tak: Let's see each other again. Then, if you think we shouldn't be together, tell me so frankly... That day, six years ago, a rainbow appeared in my heart. It's still there, like a flame burning inside me. But what are your real feelings for me? Are...
Taxi Driver: Puts you in mind of the days of the old demon barber of Fleet Street, don't it? Alex: Sorry? Taxi Driver: The murders. David: What murders? Taxi Driver: Haven't you heard? Last night... six of 'em. All in different parts of the city, all...
It was early on in 1965 when I wrote some of my first poems. I sent a poem to 'Harper's' magazine because they paid a dollar a line. I had an eighteen-line poem, and just as I was putting it into the envelope, I stopped and decided to make it a thirt...
I think people overplay the 'Saturday Night Live' schedule. I mean, yeah, it can be some late hours. But the late hours are usually only one or two nights out of the week. You might have a crazy six-day week, but you'll work three weeks, and then you...
It had been six weeks since I brought my second child, my daughter, kicking and screaming into the world. Six weeks, that magic number men everywhere look forward to and women dread.
Not the last time in Western history, the revolutionaries armed themselves with a new religion to steel themselves for greater outrageous.
The dead outnumber the living fourteen to one, and we ignore the accumulated experience of such a huge majority of mankind at our peril
I wrote this book because I had formed a strong impression that the people currently living were paying insufficient attention to the dead.
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.
Spending longer thinking about the problem before you dive in is likely to lead to higher levels of creativity in the final product.
When I go to the bar, I never drink much. And to do that I avoid conversations, as silence reduces saliva and swallowing, which is drinking.
A burial should be more than a fire pit, arena seating, and a squirming politician strapped to a pile of wood. There should also be marshmallows.
How do two retards eat a turd sandwich? Well, not by first wiping their ass with wheat bread like I showed them.
I’m not in manufacturing, but I make something. I make a difference. But to be honest, I think China can make it cheaper.
My definition of dictionary can’t be found in the dictionary. Dictionary—A linguistic prison, confining words to well-defined cells, with little chance of parole.
To get him to agree, I put a gun to his head. To get him to not change his mind, I blew out his brains.
I look like a million bucks, but I feel like shit. Thanks, inflation!
I don’t care if I’m on the moon, the party is on the sun, and I am an albino, you should still invite me.
