Alonzo Harris: But, I don't believe you. You tapped that ass, didn't you. C'mon, tell the truth, you know you tapped that ass. You put her in the backseat, BAM. Code-X. Jake Hoyt: Look man, I got a wife. Alonzo Harris: You got a dick. You do have a d...
Jake Hoyt: If he's not here, why are we here? Alonzo Harris: We're here to serve this warrant. Jake Hoyt: C'mon, man. We can't do that. Alonzo Harris: Yes, hell we can. We're the police, we can do what the fuck we wanna do. Jake Hoyt: Shouldn't we go...
Pam: Hey, listen to Franklin's horoscope. "Travel in the country, long-range plans, and upsetting persons around you, could make this a disturbing and unpredictiable day. The events in the world are not doing much either to cheer one up." Jerry: That...
Mike Michaelson: The show has generated enormous revenues now equivalent to the gross national product of a small country. Christof: People forget it takes the population of an entire country to keep the show running. Mike Michaelson: Since the show ...
Senator Lothridge: Now as we discussed earlier, these warning labels are not for those who know, but rather for those who don't know. What about the children? Nick Naylor: Gentleman. It's called education. It doesn't come off the side of a cigarette ...
Saamiya Siddiqui: Your Honour, Prosecution Counsel Mr Zaheer Khan was very quick to... Zakir Ahmed: Zakir Ahmed... Saamiya Siddiqui: ...say that the case is as transparant as water, but Mr Zaheer Khan forgets that... Zakir Ahmed: Ms Saamiya Siddiqui,...
[Monty's cat jumps onto the sofa] Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! [he lunges at it and it runs off] Uncle Monty: It's trying to get itself in with you, it's trying for even more advantage! It's obsessed with its gut, it's like ...
[first lines] Paikea: In the old days, the land felt a great emptiness. It was waiting. Waiting to be filled up. Waiting for someone to love it. Waiting for a leader. [child birth scene] Paikea: And he came on the back of a whale. A man to lead a new...
Riff: Look, Tony, I've never asked the time of day from a clock but I'm asking you, come to the dance tonight. I already told the gang you'd be there. If you don't show I'll be marked lousy. Tony: What time? Riff: Ten. Tony: Ten it is. Riff: Womb to ...
Edward Blake: God damn I love working on American soil, Dan. Ain't had this much fun since Woodward and Bernstein. Dan Dreiberg: How long can we keep this up? Edward Blake: Congress is pushing through some new bill that's gonna outlaw masks. Our days...
Rainer Wenger: Mr. Wieland! Dieter Wieland: Mr. Wenger. Rainer Wenger: About the project week... Dieter Wieland: Yes, and? Rainer Wenger: Can we switch? I got autocracy. Dieter Wieland: Alea iacta est. The die has been cast. Rainer Wenger: You know I...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to the cold stars, "I am man.", our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our mortality. But tonight, we shall hurl the gau...
Brad Dupree: [reading Lester's job description] "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closel...
John Laroche: Look, I'll tell you a story, all right? I once feel deeply, you know, profoundly in love with tropical fish. Had 60 goddamn fish tanks in my house. I skin dived to find just the right ones. Anisotremus virginicus, Holdacanthus ciliaris,...
[first title cards] Title card: In the year of Our Lord 1191 when Richard, the Lion-Heart, set forth to drive the infidels from the Holy Land, he gave the Regency of his Kingdom to his trusted friend, Longchamps, instead of to his treacherous brother...
D-Day: [enters with a bruised and bloodied Otter] I found him after he called me from a phone on the side of the road outside of town. Boon: [to Otter] Holy shit! What happened to you? You look grotesqe. Otter: Some of the Omegas jumped me and did a ...
Reverend Harper: Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt? Abby Brewster: Oh, no. Martha Brewster: Oh, he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt. Abby Brewster: Oh... Do you remember, Martha, once, a long time ago, we thought if h...
Genie: [sniffs tearfully] No matter what anybody says, you'll always be a prince to me. Sultan: That's right! You've certainly proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's that law that's the problem. Princess Jasmine: Father? Sultan: Well, am I S...
Lt. Carlsen: I'm Lt. Carlsen. I was sent from Nha Trang with this message for you three days ago, sir. They expected you here a little sooner. This is mail for the boat's crew. You don't know how happy this makes me in delivering all this. Willard: W...
Real Harvey: [the real Harvey Pekar introduces his on-screen character] OK. This guy here, he's our man, all grown up and going nowhere. Although he's a pretty scholarly cat, he never got much of a formal education. For the most part, he's lived in s...
Sid Loomis: You're a star because you're great and you are a great star, but let me tell you something, Helen. In the last couple of years you're better known as an adulteress and a drunk. And I say this in all due respect. Helen Sinclair: Look, I ha...
