Sergeant: [he can't see what Andy is holding up] It's a... Rex: It's A WHAT? WHAT IS IIIITTTTT? [Rex shakes the table, inadvertently knocking off the TalkBoy and causing the batteries to fall out] Rex: Oh, no! Mr. Potato Head: Oh, ya big lizard! Now ...
[Truman attempts to leave his town and a convoy of cars pulls in front of him to block his exit] Truman Burbank: Blocked at every turn. Beautifully synchronized, don't you agree? Meryl: You're blaming me for the traffic? Truman Burbank: Should I? Mer...
Sebastian Shaw: Erik, what a pleasant surprise. So good to see you again. May I ask you something? Why are you on their side? Why fight for a doomed race who will hunt us down as soon as they realize their reign is coming to an end? I'm sorry for wha...
Juror #3: It's these kids - the way they are nowadays. When I was a kid I used to call my father, "Sir". That's right. "Sir". You ever hear a kid call his father that anymore? Juror #8: Fathers don't seem to think it's important anymore. Juror #3: [l...
Bill Sampson: Looks like I'm going to have a very fancy party... Margo Channing: I thought you were going to be late. Bill Sampson: When I'm guest of honor? Margo Channing: I had no idea you were even here. Bill Sampson: I ran into Eve on my way upst...
Elaine Miller: May I speak with William, please? Sapphire: He's not here. He's down in the bar with the band. They just got back from the radio station. Is this Maryann with the pot?... Hello? Elaine Miller: No, this is not Maryann with the pot. This...
Robert Ford: They gave me ten days. Charley Ford: For what? Robert Ford: Arresting him. Charley Ford: You and me, huh? Robert Ford: It's going to happen one way or another. It's going to happen, Charley, and it might as well be us who get rich on it....
Bob Woodward: The story is dry. All we've got are pieces. We can't seem to figure out what the puzzle is supposed to look like. John Mitchell resigns as the head of CREEP, and says that he wants to spend more time with his family. I mean, it sounds l...
Harvey Pekar: What movie could be worth driving 260 miles round trip for? Toby Radloff: It's a new film called Revenge of the Nerds. It's about a group of nerd college students who are being picked on all the time by the jocks. So they decide to take...
Tony Stark: You know, I've got a cluster of shrapnel, trying every second to crawl its way into my heart. [Stark points at the mini-arc reactor in his chest] Tony Stark: This stops it. This little circle of light. It's part of me now, not just armor....
Matt: Do you wanna know why our son is dead? Do you really wanna know? He went there not because of me. He was with her not because of me. He went there because of you. Because you are so controlling, so overbearing, so angry, that he was it! That he...
Carter Chambers: What are you so afraid of? Edward Cole: Just because I told you my story, does not invite you to be a part of it! Carter Chambers: Oh, like the lady in the bar? Edward Cole: That's different. Carter Chambers: Tell me how it's differe...
Cassie Cartwright: Just finished my shift. Wanna dance? Ennis Del Mar: I was just on my way to the... Cassie Cartwright: [takes his arm and leads to dance floor] I'm Cassie; Cassie Cartwright. Ennis Del Mar: Ennis. Ennis Del Mar: Del Mar. Ennis Del M...
Ray: Hey-ho. Drowning your sorrows, huh? Ken: What sorrows? Ray: You know, being a sad, old, ugly little man. Ray: [to the bartender] One gay beer please. Ken: How'd your date go? Ray: My date involved two instances of extreme violence, one instance ...
Garlic is divine. Few food items can taste so many distinct ways, handled correctly. Misuse of garlic is a crime. Old garlic, burnt garlic, garlic cut too long ago and garlic that has been tragically smashed through one of those abominations, the gar...
You’re here!” She repeated, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips. He’d dropped his bags as she’d ran, and now he cupped her bottom in his large hands...His heart gave a giant thump, all the way down from his chest to...
Nowhere can I think so happily as in a train. I am not inspired; nothing so uncomfortable as that. I am never seized with a sudden idea for a masterpiece, nor form a sudden plan for some new enterprise. My thoughts are just pleasantly reflective. I t...
4-19-10 Monday 1:00 P.M. Today the gas was turned off – more panic reactions. I’m wondering if the darkest hour is just before the dawn and all those wonderful cliches. I don’t see anyway out of my current situation, at least any quality of lif...
Who makes things up? Who tells the real story? We all turn our lives into stories. It is a defining characteristic of our species. We retell our experiences. We quickly learn what parts are interesting to our listeners and what parts lag, and we shap...
On writing, my advice is the same to all. If you want to be a writer, write. Write and write and write. If you stop, start again. Save everything that you write. If you feel blocked, write through it until you feel your creative juices flowing again....
May 20, '95 - Mississippi calls. She says, "All my working life I have done things to help black people. I can drive into the black part of town where no white person would dare to go. I have nothing to fear. They say, 'Hi there, Mizz Mississippi.' I...