What is it with folks always talking about where they’re from? You could grow up in a muddy ditch, but if it’s muddy ditch, then it’s gotta be the swellest muddy ditch ever.
I make love in the rain, alone, under an umbrella, because people in phone booths cannot be trusted. I hang my clothes up like I hang up a phone—long distance.
Love is a lot like bowling, I thought as I drove by a boarded up and abandoned bowling alley. Like the economy, I’ve made a full recovery since we broke up.
As a fiction writer, let me make it up, and let me make it up to you. I’ll pen our love story, if you’ll be my co-author.
Growing up, I used to use and apple instead of a baseball. It was just more fun to hit, and a healthier and better tasting snack than America’s favorite pastime.
What I lack in courage I more than make up for in underwear. I am possibly the bravest coward to ever go commando.
To say that I grew up without parents is a lie, because I haven’t grown up yet. Also, all six of my potential parental candidates are still alive.
I tried to knock my wife up, but she’d only let me ring the doorbell. And she made me dress up like the pizza delivery boy while I rang.
Pineapple juice doesn’t come in a can—it comes in a hard, spiky shell called a pineapple. Pineapples are great and all, but of all things to grow, up is the most profitable.
just because you refuse to acknowledge something, refuse to look at it or think about it, doesn’t mean it’s not there, that it doesn’t affect you and the choices you make in your life.
Vincent to Kate: “The day I stop seeing you as one of the strongest people I know is the day I wake up human.
Get out of your own way... stop the paralysis by analysis... dream your dream... then, WAKE UP and bring it to life!
Resolutions are most often empty promises for those who have an abundance of dreams, but refuse to wake up and live them.
Why are babies allowed to cry when they wake up, but adults crying when they wake is frowned upon? Babies are permitted to act like assholes whenever they feel like it and no one blinks...
Now we wake up with our memory and fix our gazes on that which was; whispering sweetness, which once coursed through us, sits silently beside us with loosened hair
You’re covered in blood again.” “I really am.” “Why are you always covered in blood when I wake up after being unconscious?” “Usually for the same reason you were unconscious, I think.
Stop stalling and spill the beans. What’s up?” Alexi tossed down her fork and leaned in close so no one else could possibly hear. “What’s not up? We’re like rabbits on Viagra.
He said cynicism’s self-protection, a defense mechanism used by cowards who give up on love because they’re afraid love’s given up on them.
We knew our days were numbered. We had fouled up our lives and we were getting ready for a shake-up.
Without giving up hope—that there’s somewhere better to be, that there’s someone better to be—we will never relax with where we are or who we are.
You have to see everyone in relationship to you. Just because you understand the shit in someone else's life doesn't mean you don't stand up for your own
