[Donkey and Shrek are looking at constellations in the night sky] The Donkey: So, uh, are there any donkeys up there? Shrek: Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying. The Donkey: Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That ...
[eyeing the "KEEP OUT" signs surrounding Shrek's home] Donkey: I guess you don't, uh... entertain much. Shrek: I like my privacy. Donkey: Y'know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you tr...
Donkey: Hey, what's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh? Shrek: Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with ME! People take one look at me and go "Aargh! Help! Run! ...
[Shrek discovers the seven dwarves have placed Snow White on his kitchen table] Shrek: Oh, no no no no! Dead broad OFF the table! Dwarf: Well, where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken! Shrek: Huh? [rushes over to his bed to find... ] Big Bad...
[Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, glares at Donkey] Donkey: Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them! Pinocchio: Oh, gosh, no one invited us! Shrek: What? Pinocchio: We were forced to come here! Shrek: By who? Little Pig: Lord Far...
Shrek: Go over there and see if you can find any stairs. Donkey: Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the Princess. Shrek: The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. Donkey: How do you know that? Shrek: I read it in ...
[Shrek spots a lighted window in the Dragon's castle] Shrek: Well, at least we know where the Princess is. But where's the...? Donkey: DRAGON! [runs away]
[as they approach Fiona's castle, Donkey smells the air] Donkey: Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything! Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you'd be dead! [sniffs] Shrek...
Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway? Shrek: Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
Shrek: So... what did Fiona say about me? Donkey: Ah, what're you asking me for? Why don't you go and ask her! Shrek: The wedding! We'll never make it in time! Donkey: Ha-ha-ha! Never fear! Where there's a will, there's a way. And I have a way. [blow...
Princess Fiona: Where are you going? The exit's over there! Shrek: [going to save Donkey] Well, I have to save my ass. Princess Fiona: [shocked] What kind of knight ARE you? Shrek: One of a kind.
Donkey: You're so wrapped up in layers onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings! Shrek: [hiding in the toilet] Go away! Donkey: See? There you are, doing it again! Just like you did to Fiona! All she ever did was like you maybe, even love you! S...
Shrek: Donkey? What are you doing? Donkey: [gathering branches] I would think YOU of all people would recognize a wall when you saw one! Shrek: Well, yeah... but the wall's supposed to go AROUND my swamp, not through it! Donkey: It is around your swa...
Princess Fiona: Well, when one lives alone, one has to learns these things in case there's... [points] Princess Fiona: There's an arrow in your butt! Shrek: What? [looks at arrow] Shrek: Oh, would you look at that?
[Shrek and Donkey are crossing a wooden bridge over a moat of lava] Donkey: Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down, keep on moving, don't look down... [a board under Donkey breaks, prompting Donkey... ] Donkey: Shrek, I'm looking down!
Shrek: If I treat you so badly, then why did you come back, huh? Donkey: Because that's what friends do, they FORGIVE EACH OTHER! Shrek: Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you - for stabbing me in the back!
Shrek: Does anyone know where this Farquaad guy is? [Donkey jumps up and down, shouting out] Donkey: Oh, I know! I know where he is! Shrek: Does anyone ELSE know where to find him? Donkey: Pick me! Pick me! Me! Me!
Shrek: [to Donkey] I already told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me! I live alone! MY swamp! ME! Nobody else, understand? NOBODY! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, TALKING *DONKEYS*! Donkey: But... I thought... Shrek: Yeah, well, yo...
[Shrek rescues Fiona] Princess Fiona: What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed. Shrek: You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? Princess Fiona: [nods] Mmmh-hmm
Princess Fiona: [hears a roar] You didn't slay the dragon? Shrek: It's on my to-do list, now come on! Princess Fiona: But this isn't right! You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banners flying! That's what all the other knights did! Shrek: Yeah, ri...
Shrek: That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
