[Shrek is hit by an arrow] Princess Fiona: Oh!... oh, this is all my fault... Donkey: Why, what's wrong? Princess Fiona: Shrek's hurt! Donkey: Shrek's hurt? Shrek's HURT? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die! Shrek: Donkey, I'm okay! Donkey: You can't do this t...
Donkey: Shrek! Hold up, Shrek! You got to wait for the line! Shrek: [about to burst into the cathedral] What are you talking about? Donkey: The line, the line you gotta wait for: the priest's gonna say "Speak now or forever hold your piece", and you ...
Shrek: Listen, little donkey, take a look at me! What am I? Donkey: Ah... really tall? Shrek: No! I'm an OGRE! You know, "grab your torch and pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you? Donkey: Nope. Shrek: Really? Donkey: Really, really. Shrek: [taken aba...
Shrek: Back off! Donkey: YOU back off! Shrek: This is MY swamp! Donkey: OUR swamp! Shrek: Let go, Donkey! Donkey: YOU let go! Shrek: Stubborn jackass! Donkey: Smelly ogre! Shrek: ...Fine!
Princess Fiona: [after Shrek and Donkey rescue her] The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. Shrek: Uh, no... Princess Fiona: Why not? Shrek: I... have helmet hair. Princess Fiona: Please. I would'st look upon the face of my re...
[Shrek sneaks up on a mob about to storm his swamp] Villager 1: There's his lair... let's get him! Villager 2: Do you know what that thing could do? It'll grind your bones for its bread! Shrek: Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now ogres, oh, th...
[Shrek burps in front of Donkey and Fiona] The Donkey: Shrek! Shrek: What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. The Donkey: But that's no way to behave in front of a princess. [Fiona burps louder] Princess Fiona: Thanks. The Donkey: [...
[Shrek enters the tournament] Lord Farquaad: What's that? It's hideous! Shrek: Well, that's not very nice. [looks at Donkey] Shrek: It's just a donkey.
Shrek: Okay, you two, head for the exit! [Fiona and Donkey run, Shrek grabs a sword] Shrek: I'll take care of the Dragon...
Lord Farquaad: [Shrek has barged into the tournament] Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre, will be named champion! Have at him! [all the knights draw their weapons and converge on Shrek] Shrek: Okay, now... can't we just settle this over a ...
Shrek: Um... Fiona? Princess Fiona: Yes, Shrek? Shrek: I... I love you. Princess Fiona: Really? Shrek: Really, really! Princess Fiona: Mmmm... I love you too. [they kiss. Thalonius writes "Awwww" on a cue card for the audience. Fiona floats up in the...
Donkey: Oh, now I really see what's going on... Shrek: I don't know what you're talking about... Donkey: Hey, I don't even wanna hear... Look, I'm an animal, I got instincts, and I know you two were diggin' on each other! Shrek: Oh, you're crazy! I'm...
[Blind Mouse is on Shrek's shoulder, sniffing] Blind Mouse: I found some cheese. [Blind Mouse bites Shrek in the ear] Shrek: Ow! Blind Mouse: Ugh! Awful stuff.
Shrek: Princess, I was SENT to rescue you by Lord Farquad, okay? HE's the one that wants to marry you. Princess Fiona: Well, why didn't he come to rescue me? Shrek: Good question! You can ask him that when we get there... Princess Fiona: But I'm supp...
[Fiona notices it's sunset] Princess Fiona: [uneasy] Shouldn't we stop to make camp? Shrek: No, that'll take longer. We can keep going. Princess Fiona: But, there's... ROBBERS, in the woods! Donkey: Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camp is definitely starting ...
Captain of Guards: [to Shrek, after finding him and Donkey in the woods] You there! Ogre! Shrek: Aye? Captain of Guards: [to both Shrek and Donkey] By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a d...
Donkey: [the bridge is swaying] Don't do that! Shrek: Don't do what? Oh, you mean this? [makes the bridge sway] Donkey: Yes, that! Shrek: Yes. Yes, do it. Okay. [sways the bridge some more] Donkey: No, Shrek!
[staring up at the starry night] Shrek: [pointing at a constellation] ... and that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to spit over three wheat fields. Donkey: Okay, I see it. Hey, Shrek, can you tell my future from these stars? Shrek: Well, the sta...
Shrek: Fiona? Are you all right? [Fiona looks at herself, and sees she is still an ogre] Princess Fiona: Yes. But, I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. Shrek: But you are beautiful. Donkey: I was hoping this would be a happy ending... [S...
People change for each other all the time. Take any love story, any great love story at all, and you'll see that people have to be willing to change if they're going to make things work out. Like Shrek, when Fiona tells Shrek that she's sick of his b...
Donkey: Shrek, remember when you said that ogres have layers? Shrek: Oh, aye? Donkey: Well, I have a bit of a confession to make: donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves. Shrek: Wait a second, donkeys don't have sleeves...
