Giosué Orefice: "No Jews or Dogs Allowed." Why do all the shops say, "No Jews Allowed"? Guido: Oh, that. "Not Allowed" signs are the latest trend! The other day, I was in a shop with my friend the kangaroo, but their sign said, "No Kangaroos Allowed...
George: [Sternly] Go get in the truck. Sam: Go fuck yourself! George: Listen to me... Listen! I want that thing out of your chin, okay? You got nipple rings, navel rings - those come out, too. And there's no makeup at my house. No glue sniffing, no h...
General Tadamichi Kuribayashi: [Tadamichi turns up in time to stop Ito from beheading Saigo and Shimizu] I don't want you to kill my soldiers needlessly. Put down your sword. Put it down! [Ito sheathes his katana and salutes] General Tadamichi Kuriba...
Nala: Have you guys seen Simba? Timon: I thought he was with you. Nala: He was but now I can't find him. Where is he? Rafiki: [chuckles] You won't find him here. The King has returned. Nala: I don't believe it. He's gone back. Timon: What? [looks up ...
Vitruvius: Emmet... Emmet: Who said that? Vitruvius: I did. I am Ghost Vitruvius. Oooooh. Emmet, you didn't let me finish earlier because I died. The reason I made up the prophecy was because I knew that whoever found the piece could become the speci...
Madame Thénardier: [to male customer] I used to dream that I would meet a prince, but God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since? Thénardier: [defensive as others stare at him] What? What? Madame Thénardier: Master of the house isn't worth ...
Thénardier: Jean Valjean - the old con. You pay up and I'll say where he's gone. Marius: [handing Thénardier money] Not so loud! Here's for you. God forgive us the things that we do. Madame Thénardier: How's about some extra on a day so glad. Our ...
Sebastian: This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life! [Ariel pats him on the head] Sebastian: I hope that you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady! Now, we got to make a plan to get that boy to kiss y...
Chad: Liza? Everyone is so hot for this paper, I just wanted to let you know. I'm about to run off another ten copies. Liza Weld: Just stop. Chad: It's like a Harry Potter book, if Harry Potter made people really, really angry. You're in hot water, y...
Karen Clarke: What's going on there, Simon? Simon Foster: It's... It's departmental business. It's about a wall. Karen Clarke: Oh, Gaza? Simon Foster: Uh-huh. Karen Clarke: I'm wondering where you were in committee, Simon. I called for back-up and yo...
Boromir: My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing, and our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right and I would do it. I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you ever seen it, Aragorn? The White Tower of Ecthelion, glim...
Tom Reagan: Last I heard, Leo was still running this town. O'Doole: Yeah, well, he won't be for long if this keeps up. It's no good for anyone. You said as much yourself... Tom Reagan: First off, O'Doole, I can say what I please to Leo and about him....
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: Want to know the common element for the entire group?... I'll tell you the answer: I'll tell you, 'cause I had that one. I had that question... Carbon. Carbon. In pencil lead, it's in the form of graphite and in coal, it's mixe...
Noel Coward: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean. [singing] Noel Coward: Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? / Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? / It's swell to have a stiffy. /...
Isaac Davis: You certainly fooled me. [crosstalk] Mary Wilke: What do you mean? Isaac Davis: I mean, I was shocked. 'cause that's not what - this is not what I expected. Mary Wilke: What did you expect? Isaac Davis: I don't know. You said you, you kn...
Mrs. Banks: Oh, George, you didn't jump into the river. How sensible of you! [Mr. Banks kisses her] Constable Jones: [into phone] It's all right, sir, he's been found! No, *alive*! Or so I presume, he's a-kissin' the Mrs. Banks. Mrs. Banks: I've been...
Herb Brooks: I got a telegram from a lady in Texas today, and you know what it said? Patty Brooks: What? Herb Brooks: Beat those Commie bastards. We're playing a hockey game against the greatest team in the world, and they're the best that's ever pla...
[last lines] Neil: [narration voice-over] And as we sat there listening to the carolers, I wanted to tell Brian it was over now and everything would be okay. But that was a lie, plus, I couldn't speak anyway. I wish there was some way for us to go ba...
[Caine Lawson reflecting after being shot] Caine: After stomping on Ilena's cousin like that, I knew I was gonna have to deal with that fool someday. Damn! I never thought he'd come back like this, blasting. Like I said, it was funny like that in the...
Hallie: Rance, do you think I could... I mean, grown up and all... do you think I could learn to read? Ransom Stoddard: Why, sure you can, Hallie. Why, there's nothing to it. It'd be... it'd be easy. Can you learn how to read? Why, I can... I can tea...
Diz Moore: [dictating into phone] In protest, the whole Senate body rose and walked out. Clarissa Saunders: No! No, not that straight stuff. Now listen, kick it up, get on his side, fight for him! Understand? Diz Moore: You love this monkey - don't y...
