I dunno about you, but I've always fancied knocking off early for a quiet night in with Call The Midwife. Do you get that here, sir?" "No," I told him. For some reason a smile was stuck on my face and it was taking an effort to shift it. "Pity," he s...
What podcasts can do in order to liven up the talk show area of TV is bring new personalities and unique worldviews into the fray in a way that's not going to be filtered through the whole Q-rating thing. I think there's a whole new layer of doing th...
Elin: I use two grams of milk and five thousand kilograms of chocolate and it's always nearly black and then... then I usually pour in more milk but then the glass isn't big enough. Then I have to pour it into a bigger glass, or another glass, if the...
[why he can't tell Lydia his name] Beetlejuice: Because if I tell you, you'll tell your friends, your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it make...
I don't gamble anymore since I had a kid. I have fun in Vegas. I see shows, Cirque du Soleil. Don Rickles was in town last time I was there. I'll have lunch with George Wallace. I just look in the Weekly calendar and see who's performing, and inevita...
Captain Mike: Why is it when you showed up you were no bigger than a pollard with one foot in the grave. Now, either I drank a hell of a lot more than I think I did, or you spry'd up. What's your secret? Benjamin Button: Well captain, you *did* drink...
Reggie Lampert: Is there a Mrs. Cruikshank...? Adam Canfield: Yes. Reggie Lampert: But you're divorced. Adam Canfield: No... Reggie Lampert: [Regina's face falls] Oh. Adam Canfield: [Brian/Adam gets out his wallet to show her the picture] My mother, ...
Cameron: I mean, sooner or later, you gotta find out what it's really like to be black. Christine: Oh, fuck you man! Like you'd know! The closest you ever came to being black, Cameron, was watching "The Cosby Show". Cameron: Yeah, well, at least I wa...
Col. Muska: [as the robot climbs the stairs] Yes, I understand! Sheeta: [gasps as Muska pulls her close] Col. Muska: [showing his true colors] It's your crystal! The force of the Sacred Light has brought the robot back to life! The way to Laputa has ...
Walter Hewel: Why do you want to live on? Prof. Dr. Ernst-Günter Schenck: And you? Why do you absolutely want to die? Walter Hewel: You see this? [shows him a cyanide cap] Walter Hewel: The Führer personally gave it to me! Prof. Dr. Ernst-Günter S...
Clarence Anglin: What movie is playing this week? John Anglin: Some cowboy piece of shit. [goes into Italian-American voice] John Anglin: 'ey, least dey could show was a gangsta movie! [laughs] Frank Morris: I may have found a way out of here. [the g...
Ghost Dog: Even if one's head were to be suddenly cut off, he should be able to do one more action with certainty. With martial valor, if one becomes like a revengeful ghost and shows great determination, though his head is cut off, he should not die...
Tuco: [trying to read a grave that is marked "Unknown"] Unk-... unk-... there's no name on it. Blondie: [showing him the stone the name was supposed to be written on stone] There's no name here, either. See, that's what Bill Carson told me... it was ...
Harry: [about the Marauder's Map] Professor, just so you know I don't think that map always works. Earlier it showed someone in the castle... someone I know to be dead. Professor Lupin: Oh really, and who might that be? Harry: Peter Pettigrew. Profes...
Old Sophie: I can't do this! Why'd you make me come here if you were coming yourself? Howl: Knowing you'd be there gave me the courage to show up. That woman terrifies me. I can't face her on my own. You saved me, Sophie. I was in big trouble back th...
Officer Foltz: [giving kids a tour of the station] See kids, this is where we bring suspects in order to be detained. Trust me, you do not want to be sitting in these seats. We call this place "Loserville". [shows Alan, Phil, and Stu, a fat kid comes...
Col. Hans Landa: Tell me, Aldo, if I were sitting where you're sitting, would you show me mercy? Lt. Aldo Raine: Nope. Col. Hans Landa: What's that English saying about shoes and feet? Lt. Aldo Raine: 'Looks like the shoe's on the other foot.' Yeah, ...
Helen: E, it's great to see you, but I gotta tell you, I've got no idea what you're talking about. Edna: Yes, words are useless! Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble! Too much of it, darling, too much! That is why I show you my work! That is why you ar...
[Telephone Conversation] Abilene: Hello. Lois Farrow: Abilene, you asleep? Abilene: No. Lois Farrow: You like company? Abilene: Well, I thought I'd drive out, see how my well was coming. Lois Farrow: Drill hard. You're better at oil wells anyway.
Jacy Farrow: Well you married Daddy when he was poor and he got rich, didn't he? Lois Farrow: Scared your daddy into getting rich, beautiful. Jacy Farrow: Well if Daddy could do it, Duane could too. Lois Farrow: Not married to you. You're not scary e...
Grandpa: [to Dwayne] Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women. Richard: Okay, dad, I think we get it. Grandpa: [to Dwayne] Are you getting it? Is it going in anywhere? No, don't show me the pad. I don't wan...
