Buck Laughlin: [after Beatrice the dog jumps up on the show judge] He went for her like she's made outta ham.
When we make the show, we are always talking about how the show is really in between what we make and what the viewer thinks of it.
Teach me to feel another's woe, to hide the fault I see, that mercy I to others show, that mercy show to me.
All reality TV shows are a triumph of voyeurism. They choose contestants who are ill-suited and slightly freakish.
I do try to separate my personal activism - showing up at a demonstration or something - from what I write.
A show like Knots or any other show that can be called a soap opera does terribly in syndication because if you're a viewer and you miss a week you don't know what's going on.
The regard one shows economy, is like that we show an old aunt who is to leave us something at last.
I didn't want to write sketch comedy after 'Mr. Show.' I felt like, after 'Mr. Show', why would you want to go work at any of the other places that existed then?
My mom's coming home soon," I said. "We should go to your place." Patch ran a hand across the shadow of stubble along his jaw. "I have rules about who I take there." I was getting really tired of that answer. "If you showed me, you'd have to kill me?...
[The modern age] knows nothing about isolation and nothing about silence. In our quietest and loneliest hour the automatic ice-maker in the refrigerator will cluck and drop an ice cube, the automatic dishwasher will sigh through its changes, a plane ...
I had a dream about you. You were guarding a bridge that I needed to cross. You asked if I had the proper paperwork, and I said I did, but I was just missing one signature. I said I couldn’t get it signed because I didn’t have a pen, I only had a...
For the last century, almost all top political appointments [on the planet Earth] had been made by random computer selection from the pool of individuals who had the necessary qualifications. It had taken the human race several thousand years to real...
And I know I’ve lost. Everything is lost. Everything is over. “As the newly appointed President of this fair planet of ours,” the Mayor says, holding out his hands as if to show me the world for the first time,” let me be the very first to we...
Everybody says they want artists to make money and then when they do, everybody hates them for it. The word sellout is spit out by the bitterest, smallest parts of ourselves. Don't be one of those horrible fans who stops listening to your favorite ba...
Auras tell a lot, Rose, and I'm very good at reading them. Much better than you friends probably are. A spirit dream wraps you own aura in gold, which is how I knew. Your personal aura is unique to you, though it fluctuates with your feelings and sou...
Who knew there were still people like that in this world, though? Everybody wants to talk about themselves, and everybody wants to hear everybody else's story, so we take turns playing reporter and celebrity. 'It must have made you very sad when your...
In winter night Massachusetts Street is dismal, the ground's frozen cold, the ruts and pock holes have ice, thin snow slides over the jagged black cracks. The river is frozen to stolidity, waits; hung on a shore with remnant show-off boughs of June--...
[On Kane finishing Leland's bad review of Susan's opera singing] Mr. Bernstein: Everybody knows that story, Mr. Leland. But why did he do it? How could a man write a notice like that? Jedediah Leland: You just don't know Charlie. He thought that by f...
Dr. Yen Lo: Attractive plant you have here. Zilkov: Thank you, doctor. It's actually a rest home for wealthy alcoholics. We were able to purchase it three years ago. Except for this floor and the floor above it, which is sealed off for security purpo...
Donkey: Hey, look at this! [he goes up to an information booth and pulls a lever. After some clicking, many mechanized marionettes pop out and begin singing] Clockwork Chorus: Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town / Here we have some rules, let us la...
Virgil: Linds, I want you to stay away from that guy. I mean it. Alan "Hippy" Carnes: The guy is gone. Did you see his hands? Lindsey Brigman: What? He got the shakes? Virgil: Look, he's operating on his own. He's cut off from his chain of command. H...
