I couldn't have recorded this record 15 years ago. My voice didn't have the depth to pull these songs off.
The fatal tendency of mankind to leave off thinking about a thing when it is no longer doubtful is the cause of half their errors.
Email is very informal, a memo. But I find that not signing off or not having a salutation bothers me.
I've spent three hours hanging upside down while fighting off dinosaur attacks. That was a lot of fun.
The mustache represented the old John; I didn't want to be that guy anymore, so I shaved it off. It was ritualistic in a way.
Age does not mean wisdom, Do not follow the old man off the cliff.
I would rather earn 1% off a 100 people's efforts than 100% of my own efforts.
I was making out with this woman, and my shirt was off, and she leaned over and, in a really cute, girly voice, went, 'Hey, fatty!'
If you cut a painter's hands off, he'd still feel the urge to pick up a brush.
I haven't always been the guy that walks into a room and automatically the attention is on me. I'm normally the guy that stands off in the corner.
Unfortunately, fur is still flying off the racks. It's a billion dollar industry.
Part of doing stand-up is to get things off your chest. It's a bit like being in a psychiatrist's chair - but more enjoyable.
I rub a mixture of honey and salt all over my body to moisturise and exfoliate. You wash it off and your skin is gorgeous.
When we started off it was all nervous energy and we probably played everything twice as fast as we do now.
Weird people don't care if they're weird. They are the most entertaining to converse with because nothing is off-limits.
It's kind of true, you do disappear off the planet if you are a middle-aged woman, but that has some advantages as well.
You really can't take a cat and turn it into a dog, or try and get lemons off an apple tree, or what have you.
I think the Casey Anthony trial caught a lot of news organizations off guard.
I'll be pleased when I'm dead. That will let me off worrying about all these wars.
I'm always running my mouth off and getting myself in trouble, so I'm trying to do it less.
I'd like to go on a hardcore safari in Africa, something off the beaten track with anti-poaching people and camping out in the savannah.
