Skip Tyler: When I was twelve, I helped my daddy build a bomb shelter in our basement because some fool parked a dozen warheads 90 miles off the coast of Florida. Well, this thing could park a coupla hundred warheads off Washington and New York and n...
[after slicing one of the Black Knight's arms off] King Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary. Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch. King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off. Black Knight: No it isn't. King Arthur: What's that, then? Black Knight: [aft...
Aunt Flo: Martha, where's Bart and Cole? Aunt Martha: Oh, they're off doing some volunteer work picking up trash off the streets. Kate Grant: It's community service; for Bart's rape. Aunt Martha: Sexual assault! Kate Grant: What's the difference? Aun...
Neighbor: I wish you'd all lay off for tonight! I can't hear myself think with that racket! Doyle: Hey! HEY! Neighbor: Knock it off or I'm calling the police! Doyle: I told you three times already, the law's on my side! I play cards with J.D. Shelnut...
[Prince Achmed comes storming in from the palace gardens after being rejected by Princess Jasmine] Prince Achmed: I've never been so insulted! Sultan: Oh, Prince Achmed, you're, you're not... leaving so soon, are you? Prince Achmed: [walks away, pant...
I have always believed that if you need to take your clothes off to get your man, you've begun to lose the battle. If you pull it off right, you can do it in a very classy way... Being sexy is about suggestion; it's about the tease. It's not about be...
Golfers who play a lot of courses often encounter short ledges or retaining walls, and I always had fun hopping down from them. I could jump off something six feet high and land like a cat, no problem. Well, today I can't jump off anything higher tha...
I think people overplay the 'Saturday Night Live' schedule. I mean, yeah, it can be some late hours. But the late hours are usually only one or two nights out of the week. You might have a crazy six-day week, but you'll work three weeks, and then you...
Get off your butt and join the Marines!
I want to get off with the screenwriting.
I don't believe in writing people off.
I can't live off the ego.
I don't carry off 'quirky.'
I'm not a good enough singer to pull off the effect.
In a way, it's good not to be recognised as much off screen.
It's always nice to start off with a good result.
I've made a career off of Halloween.
I got discovered off of YouTube.
Off-camera, I sound like Perry Como.
Anybody can leap off a building.
I don't like to take my clothes off.
