Mary Elizabeth: Alright guys, I got multiple pairs of blue jeans. Wow, this is a really tough one but I'm gonna have to guess Alice. Wait! Guys, a receipt! She actually paid! I'm so touched.
Police Chief: You know if the boy ever talked to a psychiatrist? Plato: You mean a head-shrinker? Crawford Family Maid: Oh, Mrs. Crawford don't believe in them, sir. Police Chief: Well, maybe she better start.
Petey Jones: Hey, hey, Lastik man what happened to you? Louie Lastik: [holding back, in fake pain] Man I just gave your momma a piggy-back ride and she weighs twice as much as I do! Petey Jones: That ain't funny!
Raleigh: You've made a cuckold of me. Margot: I know. Raleigh: Many times over. Margot: I'm sorry. Raleigh: And you nearly killed your poor brother. Ethel: What's he talking about? Margot: It doesn't matter. Raleigh: She's balling Eli Cash.
Jeff: I've seen bickering and family quarrels and mysterious trips at night, and knives and saws and ropes, and now since last evening, not a sign of the wife. How do you explain that? Lisa: Maybe she died. Jeff: Where's the doctor? Where's the under...
Ray Charles: Ms. Antoine, it's been two weeks. Della Bea Robinson: It's been three. [they kiss and she pushes him inside] Ray Charles: Well, where's the preacher at and the wife? Della Bea Robinson: They're in Dallas till Monday. Ray Charles: Well, h...
Milt Shaw: Ray Charles. We believe in your talent. We want to be in the Ray Charles business. We've already got you booked on a ten city tour with Roy Milton's Solid Senders and Tangula, the exotic shake dancer. Ahmet Ertegun: She is gorgeous.
Ray Charles: Marge is drunk, Jeff. Go home and sleep it off. Jeff Brown: Let me take you home. Margie Hendricks: No. I'll leave when I'm good and goddamn ready to. Ray Charles: She's good and goddamn ready right now.
Betty Schaefer: Oh, the old familiar story. You help a timid little soul cross a crowded street, she turns out to be a multimillionaire and leaves you all her money. Joe Gillis: That's the trouble with you readers, you know all the plots
First assistant director: I understand she [Norma Desmond] First assistant director: was a terror to work with. Cecil B. DeMille: Only toward the end. You know, a dozen press agents working overtime can do terrible things to the human spirit.
[last lines] [Travers is at the premiere and she is crying] Walt Disney: It's all right, Mrs. Travers. It's alright. Mr. Banks is going to be all right. I promise. P.L. Travers: No, no. It's just that - I can't, I can't abide cartoons!
Shaun: [to a girl in the garden] Excuse me? [no response] Shaun: Excuse me? [no response] Shaun: Hellew? [no response] Ed: [picks up a pebble and throws it off her back] Oi! [girl turns round, a zombie] Shaun: Oh, my God! She's so drunk!
[Shrek burps in front of Donkey and Fiona] The Donkey: Shrek! Shrek: What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. The Donkey: But that's no way to behave in front of a princess. [Fiona burps louder] Princess Fiona: Thanks. The Donkey: [...
Captain von Trapp: You are the twelfth in a long line of governesses who have come here to look after my children since their mother died. I trust you will be an improvement on the last one. She stayed only two hours.
Dr. Alex Brulov: And how do you know what his real character is? Constance Petersen: I know. I know. Dr. Alex Brulov: She knows. This is the way science goes backward. Who told you what he is? Freud?, or a crystal ball?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: I've staked my crew's life on the theory that you're a person, actual and whole, and if I'm wrong, you'd best shoot me now... [River cocks the gun she is pointing at Mal] Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Or, we could talk more.
Fanny: Mrs. Dashwood, Miss Dashwood, Miss Marianne - my brother, Edward Ferrars. [Everyone bows or curtsies] Fanny, Mrs. Dashwood: [together] Do sit down. [There's an embarrassed pause as Mrs. Dashwood realises she is no longer the mistress of the h...
Marianne: Colonel Brandon. [Though trying to slip out, he eases slowly back into the room, almost afraid to speak] Marianne: Thank you. [a fleeting look of mild gratitude crosses his face from these first sincerely kind words she's ever spoken to him...
Johnny Hooker: Hey, where's June? Loretta: She quit. I'm filling in for a couple of days, till I can get a train outta here. Johnny Hooker: Yeah? Where ya going? Loretta: I don't know. Depends on which train I get on.
[Finishing his "Kyle's Mom" song] Cartman: Kyle's Mom... She's a big, fat, fuckin' BIIIIIIIIITCH! Who's a fuckin' bitch? Kyle's Mooooooooom! Yeah! [Notices Kyle's mom standing behind him] Cartman: Oh fuck.
Kyle: Hey, Mole, be careful. The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb? Stan: Man, that kid is fucked up!
