If a piano fell from the sky, my first reaction would be, Oh my God! I hope it didn’t crush my bag of chips I left lying on the ground.
I have been stabbed, poisoned, shot, beaten, possibly raped, subjected to hypothermia, and drowned, but still I dress up as Rasputin every Halloween for the Orthodox orgy.
I know her note said she was leaving me, but there is some positive in it. At least she cared enough to tell me she didn’t care.
I think I’ll hang myself under the tree that Agatha and I had our first picnic under. I’ll just have to reschedule my dentist appointment.
Being sociable is a skill you can learn. It’s like throwing a spiral, riding a bicycle, or murdering your clone’s lover, who also happens to be your girlfriend.
If you would have asked me a year ago if I believed in aliens, I’d have laughed and said no. But that was before the abduction. I don’t laugh as much anymore, mainly due to severe rectal bleeding.
All this talk of lost love has made me hungry. I eat like a horse and stand tall and proud like a jockey.
I am a bowling alley celebrity. Women throw themselves at me. Sometimes other women (larger women) throw other women (smaller women) at me.
Exposing the truth almost always hurts some, but helps others. But if you don’t expose it, you’ll still be hurting some and helping others. Just the other others.
If Agatha had a twin, an exact duplicate, would I still feel she’s irreplaceable? And if I had a twin, would my value double, or be worth half as much?
Agatha had a face like an avocado, and a voice like guacamole. I know because I eat lime scented (and flavored) tortilla chips all the time (except at 4:44).
Principle 1: By setting limitations, we must choose the essential. So in everything you do, learn to set limitations. Principle 2: By choosing the essential, we create great impact with minimal resources. Always choose the essential to maximize yo...
The longer we stay in a violating situation, the more traumatized we become. If we don't act on our own behalf, we will lose spirit, resourcefulness, energy, health, perspective, and resilience. We must take ourselves out of violating situations for ...
Lorraine Baines: It's our first television set. Dad just picked it up today. Do you have a television? Marty McFly: Well, yeah. You know we have... two of them. Milton Baines: Wow! You must be rich. Stella Baines: Oh, honey, he's teasing you. Nobody ...
Her caramel skin and curly beach sand hair spreads in wavy chops like the choppy storm waves on the ocean. Her fluffy rose colored lips glisten with eyes emerald green and almond shaped set deep into her face and yet when she looks at you with those ...
The standard of a true leader is that he sets also his own rules rather than merely and blindly obeying the set of standard rules, even if it means being treated as an idiot or a crazy by the fools. And to follow his noble dream to attain his cherish...
When I was fifteen, a companion and I, on a dare, went into the mound one day just at sunset. We saw some of those Indians for the first time; we got directions from them and reached the top of the mound just as the sun set. We had camping equiptment...
While Nape was making the bread and Dryas boiling the ram, Daphnis and Chloe had time to go forth as far as the ivy-bush; and when he had set his snares again and pricked his lime-twigs, they not only catched good store of birds, but had a sweet coll...
Lord, if I thought you were listening, I'd pray for this above all: that any church set up in your name should remain poor, and powerless, and modest. That it should wield no authority except that of love. That it should never cast anyone out. That i...
Wherever Koreans are, they set up a church.
On the set I never know what day of the week it is.
