Quotes of: Serious Keyword

Words used carelessly, as if they did not matter in any serious way, often allowed otherwise well-guarded truths to seep through.

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

No matter which end of a hotdog you take your first bite from, I’ll tell you you’re eating it backwards. I’m serious, I think you may be dyslexic.

Sleepwalking is restercise

When I smell small, my nose gets clogged up. Think what would happen if I whiffed medium or large.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

If my name were Oscar, I’d want to be an actor and win my namesake award and take back my identity.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

I’ll insist my competitor is the greatest, so that when I beat him, I won’t be calling myself the greatest—I’ll be proving it through my actions. 

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

I can read people like an open book, especially if their named Braille, and I’m in a touchy-feely mood.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

Flower coffee—less caffeinated, more romantic. I wanted to be with her, but when I was, I felt like I’d rather wither.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

I feel like having another thigh and calf would give me a leg up on my competition.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

Life is made up of only one thing: the now. The past and the future could be considered dreams, if only they were as real. At least a dream is in the now.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

In a dream, in her head means in my head, as I have unrestricted access to her thoughts and the innermost parts of her body.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

The thing that has impacted life on earth the most is life on mars. That’s where the government is storing all my clones.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

After a few years of not talking, I tried reaching out to my father, but by that time he was already a few inches beyond my outstretched fingers.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

I’d like to write a screenplay about my grandpa, and I’d like my future grandson to play the part. Talk about a mindfuck!

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

A great gift would be a map full of evacuation routes for the city, subtly telling the recipient to get the hell out of town.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

Man is somewhere in between God and animal. Jarod is somewhere in between Jar and Jason. (One of which I keep chained up in my freezer).

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

The people need to know that the people need to know. And I’m just the man to let them know that they need to know. However, what they need to know, I do not know.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

I can’t do my job, if you don’t do yours. I also can’t do my job, so can you do mine too?

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—tell different people.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

I’m a logician. No matter how wrong I am, I can always convince myself I am right.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

Life is struggle. Poor people struggle to get money, and rich people struggle to keep their money.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious