We’re distant cousins. He’s my first cousin, but he’s 5,000 miles away. And he doesn’t talk much.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousAm I going crazy, or am I the only one who can hear the silence?
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousI used to live with someone of the opposite sex. It’s called a sister, and I don’t have one.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousHe’s got the world’s softest knuckles. They’re like rubber the way they bounce off my steel balls.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousIf you strip away my flowery language, you’ll figure out I’m really talking about bees.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousAs a person, I have to claim my persona as my own. If I don’t, my clone will do it for me.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousPolitics is all about showing you have integrity—and hiding the fact that you really don’t have any.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousI’m so smart that I make everyone around me smarter. I do this by being dumber than everybody.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousI am the alligator of love. But I’d make better boots than a lover.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousWhen my ex girlfriend left, I was crushed. Why’d she have to drive off in a steamroller?
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousI held her, but that wasn’t enough to hold us together. That’s where the glue came in.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousI was only 20% right, while she was 80% right. Still, I was right that she was wrong—20% wrong.
Seriously delirious, but not at all serious