My advice is don’t take advice from anybody. This is good advice, and as such, it’s bad advice.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousIf you drink, you risk divulging your secrets. Here, have another glass.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousLike ice, this economy is more fluid than ever. Thanks, Washington, DC!
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousThe ability to lick their own asses, does this make cats their own bosses?
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousI’d rather go into a competition as the underdog. Less pressure to perform, and more motivation.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousThe topic of weather isn’t small talk, when you’re conversing with a meteorologist.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousThe big uncookable sections of who we are, they’re the ones I love to taste the most.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousI need to condense my adrenaline, carbonate it, sweeten it, and sell it as an energy drink.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousVacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousNobody wants to leave what they know to go either to the unknown, or to grandmother’s house.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousLife is made up of now, and the past and the future are nothing more than inedible garnishes.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousOne Jarod’s a lover, and one Jarod’s a fighter. Which Jarod am I? The middle one.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousTaxes and Texas—they have the same letters, but only one can go to hell.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousI’m not a good liar, and that makes me a good liar, because liars are bad, and bad liars are good.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousI have an iron deficiency. You can tell by how wrinkled my clothes are.
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousI’ll trade you one dollar for five dollars. What, is my money no good here?
Seriously delirious, but not at all seriousStanding around making ten dollars an hour—that’s what they pay me the big bucks for.
Seriously delirious, but not at all serious