King Arthur: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. French Soldier: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he wil...
Mike: Look at the big jerk. He ruined my life, and for what? A STUPID KID! Because of you, I am stuck in this frozen wasteland! Yeti: Wasteland? I think you mean "Wonderland"! I mean, how about all this fabulous snow, huh? Oh, and wait until you see ...
Sulley: The power's out. Make her laugh again. Mike: All right, I got a move here, it'll bring down the house. Up! [Does a backflip, lands on his crotch] Sulley: Oh, sorry, she didn't see that. Mike: What? What'd you do, forget to check if her stupid...
Ted: I want to celebrate. You want to go see what Larry and Carol are doing? Marcia Fox: I think they want to be alone. Ted: Oh, right. Well, uh, what about you? Do you have plans? Marcia Fox: You're taking me to dinner, right? Ted: Right, absolutely...
Nemo Nobody aged 118: Urgh, you're still here? Did I fall asleep? Sometimes I don't sleep so I think... I think about how it was... and all I have left. What do you see when you look at me? A grumpy old man who never answers questions? Who mixes ever...
Nemo age 16: [to Harry] It will happen on a Saturday. You will be behind the wheel of your car, you are whistling. You do not see the crossroads. All of a sudden, a train will hit from your left and you will be crushed. Nemo's Mother: You're not funn...
Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I saved for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it? Uncle Albert: [sobbing] I'd be so grateful. Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. He was so scared, he chewed his...
Jimmy Markum: They put her in a bag. Theo: What's that? Jimmy Markum: That's what Katie looked like when I saw her in the morgue. Like they put her in a bag and then they beat the bag with pipes. Janie died in her sleep, all due respect, but there yo...
[Chris and Vin enter their room, to see Lee sitting there, waiting] Lee: Remember me? Chris Adams: Yup. Lee: You need men for a job in Mexico? How long? Chris Adams: Four, maybe six weeks. Lee: That ought to do it. How much does the job pay? Chris Ad...
Annie Wilkes: The swearing, Paul. There, I said it. Paul Sheldon: The, uh, profanity bothers you? Annie Wilkes: It has no nobility. Paul Sheldon: These are slum kids, I was a slum kid. Everybody talks like that. Annie Wilkes: THEY DO NOT! What do you...
Michael Longo: [showing a picture of his new girlfriend] You think she's good-looking? She's smart, too. She's gonna be a teacher. Tony DeVienazo: Let me see that. Oh, I know this girl. Michael Longo: Yeah? Tony DeVienazo: Yeah... I saw her kissing a...
Tom Doniphon: [Valance has tripped Rance in the diner, causing him to spill a tray of food] That's *my* steak, Valance. Liberty Valance: [laughing] You heard him, Dude. Pick it up. Ransom Stoddard: No! Tom Doniphon: Pilgrim, hold it. I said you, Vala...
David Grant: Oh. Okay. Dad, I found it. Here it is. [Runs up holding partial] David Grant: Oh. Wait. This isn't yours. Woody Grant: [Goes back to looking] David Grant: I was kidding. Here. [Hands it over] Woody Grant: [Examines it] These ain't mine. ...
Tina Gray: All day long I've been seeing that guy's weird face and hearing those fingernails. Nancy: Fingernails? That's amazing you saying that. That made me remember the dream I had last night. Tina Gray: What'd you dream? Nancy: I dreamed about a ...
Nurse Esther: The doctor needs to see you. Allie: Me? Now? Nurse Esther: No, him. Allie: But he hasn't finished reading his story. Noah: I'll read some more when I'm through with the doctor. This shouldn't take too long. Allie: All right. Noah: Don't...
Aunt Edna: I was afraid you'd get pulled over, Clark. You've been exeeding the speed limit for thousands of miles! Rusty Griswold: Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to... Ellen Griswold: He was speeding, Rusty! Rusty Griswold...
Frank: Morton once told me I could never be like him. Now I understand why. Wouldn't have bothered him, knowing you were around somewhere alive. Harmonica: So, you found out you're not a businessman after all. Frank: Just a man. Harmonica: An ancient...
Lone Watie: I'm gettin' better at sneaking up on you like this. Only an Indian can do something like this. Josey Wales: That's what I figured. Lone Watie: You figured? Josey Wales: Only an Indian could do something like that. [Lone Watie hears a gun ...
Del: You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you...
Jane Bennet: How do you like it here in Hertfordshire, Mr. Bingley? Mr. Bingley: Very much. Elizabeth Bennet: The library at Netherfield, I've heard, is one of the finest in the country. Mr. Bingley: Yes, fills me with guilt. Not a very good reader, ...
Max Bialystock: Don't you see, darling Bloom, glorious Bloom? It's so simple. STEP ONE: We find the worst play ever written, a surefire flop. STEP TWO: I raise a million bucks. Lots of little old ladies out there. STEP THREE: You go back to work on t...
