Terence Fletcher: Do you think you're out of tune? What are you... there's no fucking Mars Bar down there, what are you looking at? Look up here, look at me. Do you think you were out of tune? Metz: Yes. Terence Fletcher: THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU...
Monty: Do you like vegetables? I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. Do you grow? Withnail: Geraniums. Monty: Oh, you little traitors. I think the c...
Sergeant Howie: What religion can they possibly be learning jumping over bonfires? Lord Summerisle: Parthenogenesis. Sergeant Howie: What? Lord Summerisle: Literally, as Miss Rose would doubtless say in her assiduous way, reproduction without sexual ...
Bryan Callen: Tommy Riordan's captured the media's attention, but the question still remains: who is this guy? And more importantly, can he compete in this talent pool? Can he win? Sam Sheridan: I wish I knew, Bryan. I wish I knew who he was, and I'v...
Eddie Valiant: Say, Roger. That letter you wrote to your wife at the Ink and Paint Club? Why don't you read it to her now? Roger Rabbit: Sure thing, Eddie. "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I, Marvin Acme, of sound mind and bo...
Marianne Borg: I saw you with your mother, and I was panic-stricken. Professor Isak Borg: I don't understand. Marianne Borg: I thought: That's his mother. An old woman, cold as ice, more forbidding than death. And this is her son, and there are light...
Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, its clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship. Sally Albright: Why? Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on a...
Sally Albright: At least I got the apartment. Harry Burns: That's what everyone says. But, really, what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is look in the obituary section. You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorma...
Lieutenant Schrank: [as they exit] Say goodbye to the nice boys, Krupke. Officer Krupke: Goodbye, boys. Snowboy: [mimicking Krupke] "Goodbye, boys." Action: [mimicking Shranke] "You hoodlums don't own the streets." Snowboy: "Go play in the park!" Act...
Bud Fox: Hi, Marv. Marv: [sarcastically] Oh, hi. Say, why don't YOU get the hell out of MY office! Bud Fox: I know I've been a bit of a schmuck lately and I just want to apologize. Marv: You've been a *real* schmuck lately. So go thou and sin no more...
Edward Blake: God damn I love working on American soil, Dan. Ain't had this much fun since Woodward and Bernstein. Dan Dreiberg: How long can we keep this up? Edward Blake: Congress is pushing through some new bill that's gonna outlaw masks. Our days...
Frau Blücher: Would the doctor care for a... brandy before retiring? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No. Thank you. Frau Blücher: [suggestively] Some varm milk... perhaps? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No... thank you very much. No thanks. Frau Blücher:...
Bromhead: Chard. One of my men - Hook - do you know him? Lieutenant John Chard: [preoccupied] No. Bromhead: In the hospital, malingering under arrest. He's a thief, a coward and an insubordinate barrack room lawyer. And you've given him a rifle! Lieu...
Columbus: [Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume, Tallahassee turns around and glares at Columbus] Okay. Let me begin my three-part apology by saying that I think you're a wonderful human, with great potential. Tallahassee: It's okay... But FYI, I...
Dan: I need a favor. Kuwaiti Businessman: Why I should help you? Dan: Because we're friends. Kuwaiti Businessman: You saying we are friends? How come you only call me when you need help? But when I need something you are too busy to pick up the phone...
Dr. Rothberg: But if you don't come back to the hospital, you're condemning yourself to a terrible death. Your heart won't work anymore. You'll die, asphyxiated. It's an awful death, Paul. You can't imagine it. At least here we can help you to ... Pa...
Charlie Prince: [giving a toast] Here's to the four we lost in battle. And here's to the boss, who had to say goodbye to Tommy Darden today. And that's too bad. Ben Wade: Proverbs 13:3. "He that keepeth his mouth, keepeth his life. He that opens his ...
McKenzie: Hey, don't you have like 20 cards to write by Friday? Tom: Nope, all done. McKenzie: Really? Well, could you help me with mine? Because I'm running out of ways to say "Congratulations". So far, I've got: "Congrats", "Good job" and "Well don...
Lindsey Brigman: [relaying what Bud types] Have some new friends down here. Guess they've been here awhile. They've left us alone, but it bothers them to see us hurting each other. Getting out of hand. They sent a message. Hope you got it. Catfish De...
Valerie Thomas: I guess we thought that maybe Susan Orlean and Leroche could fall in love, and... Charlie Kaufman: Okay. But, I'm saying, it's like, I don't want to cram in sex or guns or car chases, you know... or characters, you know, learning prof...
John Laroche: Look, I'll tell you a story, all right? I once feel deeply, you know, profoundly in love with tropical fish. Had 60 goddamn fish tanks in my house. I skin dived to find just the right ones. Anisotremus virginicus, Holdacanthus ciliaris,...
