I don't 'handle' people. It's so much easier to manipulate actors than to really have an earnest discussion with them. It's very easy to say whatever's going to appease them and then turn around and do whatever you want to do. It's difficult to be fo...
To me, it's all about saying "thank you" before you open the gift box. At times, the gift wrap is so beautiful, all I want to do is admire the craftsmanship before very carefully pulling back the tape to see what's inside. I think that pretty much de...
When I listen to the complaints that follow just about every presidential debate, I'm reminded of the well-worn joke about the Jewish mother who buys her son two shirts. When he shows up at dinner wearing one, she says: 'What's the matter? You didn't...
I give off rather mixed messages about the law. On the one hand, I can honestly say I don't miss working in a law office. On the other hand I do enjoy watching the law and while the profession may have its problems, I have sold zillions of books out ...
I realized that all my life, my values were based upon typical middle-class American values: hard work, doing good, living well, owning things, following the rules & being the best I can be... but God clearly says, "those are not MY values. I value j...
I have always thought that work is as common and fine as air, something that we become a part of. I am drawn to the out of doors, to the ordinary pleasures of everyday work. Alice used to say that if I was a bird I'd be the first one to sing, the way...
There's a very passionate pro-chewing movement on the Internet called Chewdiasm. They say that we should be chewing 50 to 100 times per mouthful, which is insane. I tried that. It takes like a day and a half to eat a sandwich. But their basic idea is...
Allan praised Herbert for a job well done and for acting the part well. Herbert blushed, while dismissing the praise, saying it wasn't hard to play stupid when you are stupid. Allan said that he didn't know how hard it was, because the idiots Allan h...
You'd have to go all the way back to 1972 to find a version of me who didn't care about theater, who didn't read Playbill and watch the Tony Awards, or get why Bob Fosse's choreography was so groundbreaking that all you need to say is 'Fosse hands' a...
I owe my dogs much - more than I can say - but they are not my 'companions' - as if we voluntarily chose to hang out together but none of us has authority over the others. I bought and/or acquired them. I own them. I am profoundly responsible for the...
Chekov: Oh, sir, it was Khan! We picked him up on Ceti Alpha Five... He put... creatures... in our bodies... to control our minds. He made us... say lies... do things. He thought he controlled us, but he did not. The Captain was strong.
Vicki Vale: A lot of people think you're as dangerous as the Joker. Batman: He's psychotic. Vicki Vale: Some people say the same thing about you. Batman: What people? Vicki Vale: Well, I mean, let's face it. You're not exactly normal, are you? Batman...
Alfred Pennyworth: Miss Vale called again. Dare I suggest that your present course of action might simply strengthen her resolve. She is quite tenacious. Bruce Wayne: You're right about that. Alfred Pennyworth: And if I may say so, quite special. Per...
For a long time, I thought when you do a box set, you're giving up; you're saying, 'OK, I don't have anything left.' But now I've listened to some of the old stuff I haven't heard in 20 to 40 years with fresh ears. It's like, 'Oh yeah, I can see wher...
When I first started on television, people, and even my own manager at the time, would tell me I had to make all of these changes. But you have to stand up and say, 'There's nothing wrong with me or my shape or who I am; you're the one with the probl...
You know that feeling when you finish a final exam and you think, 'I never want to do that again'? Well I have the same feeling when I finish a novel. Each time I say, 'I think I may retire now' and then after six months the ideas start to churn agai...
Noah Cross: Well, Mr. Gittes, you don't look too much the worse for wear, I must say! Now where's the girl? Jake Gittes: I've got her. Noah Cross: Is she alright? Jake Gittes: She's fine. Noah Cross: Well, where is she? Jake Gittes: With her mother.
P.R. Deltoid: I've just come from the hospital; your victim has died. Alex: You try to frighten me. Admit so, sir. This is some new form of torture. Say it, Brother Sir. P.R. Deltoid: It'll be your own torture. I hope to God it'll torture you to madn...
[Rick and Renault discussing Victor Laszlo's chances of escaping Casablanca] Captain Renault: This is the end of the chase. Rick: Twenty thousand francs says it isn't. Captain Renault: Is that a serious offer? Rick: I just paid out twenty. I'd like t...
[Of Victor Laszlo, who wants to escape from Casablanca] Captain Renault: No matter how clever he is, he still needs an exit visa... or I should say two? Rick: Why two? Captain Renault: He is traveling with a lady. Rick: He'll take one. Captain Renaul...
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle. Ralphie: Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski's candy store! [everyone stares at Ralphie] Ralphie as Adult: [narrating...
