Dr. Abe Sapirstein: Come with us quietly, Rosemary. Don't argue or make a scene. Because if you say anything more about witches or witchcraft, we're gonna be forced to take you to a mental hospital. You don't want that, do you?
James Stevens: If two members of staff have to fall in love and decide to get married, there's nothing one can say. But what I do find a major irritation are those persons who are simply going from post to post looking for romance.
Rupert Cadell: Well well well Kenneth Lawrence, how you've grown. Kenneth: Hello ,uh, Mr... Rupert Cadell: Come on, Ken. School's out, you can say it. Kenneth: Rupert, you're the same as ever. It's awfully good to see you again. Rupert Cadell: Why?
Gus Grissom: [listening to the NASA recruiter] Say, Hot Dog; what the hell does "astronaut" mean, anyway? Gordon Cooper: [thinks for a moment] "Star Voyager" Gus Grissom: "Star Voyager" Gus Grissom. I kinda like the sound of that.
[after hearing gunshots, Sefton, who bet against the escapees, glumly collects] Duke: Hold it, Sefton. I said hold it! So we heard some shots. So who says they didn't get away? Sefton: [sadly] Anybody here want to double their bet?
Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere? Joe: By choice, man.
[on choosing a career] Lloyd Dobler: How many of them really know what they want, though? I mean, a lot of them think they have to know, right? But inside they don't really know, so... I don't know ,but I know that I don't know.
Corey Flood: Did you sleep with her? Lloyd Dobler: I admit nothing. D.C.: Lloyd, it's us. Corey Flood: Look at his face. He did the deed. D.C.: You're an inspiration, Lloyd. You should go on the 700 Club or something.
[Luke's ship sinks into the mud] Luke: We'll never get it out now! Yoda: So certain are you. Always with you what cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?
Shaun: As Bertrand Russell once said, "The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation." I think we can all appreciate the relevance of that now. Liz: Was that on a beer mat? Shaun: Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold. Liz: I won't say anything. ...
[Shrek burps in front of Donkey and Fiona] The Donkey: Shrek! Shrek: What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. The Donkey: But that's no way to behave in front of a princess. [Fiona burps louder] Princess Fiona: Thanks. The Donkey: [...
[Holmes picks up a gadget from the midget's workshop and it turns out to be a taser, that sends Dredger flying across the room, crushing another thug who has Watson pinned] Dr. John Watson: Holmes? What is that? Sherlock Holmes: Je ne sais pas.
Gaila: Jim, I think I love you. James T. Kirk: That is so weird. Gaila: Lights. Computer: Lights on. Gaila: Did you just say, "That is so weird"? James T. Kirk: Yeah, I did, but...
Gregory: I must say, I don't believe I belong here with these rogues. I transferred from Yardale where I had a 4.0 grade point average. Cartman: You're a fucking faggot, dude.
Brian Dennehy: Did someone say my name? Stan: Who are you? Brian Dennehy: I'm Brian Dennehy. Kyle: What? No, not fuckin' Brian Dennehy! Stan: Get the fuck out of here! Brian Dennehy: Oh. Bye.
Lenny: Some people say we're racists.We're not racists. We're realists.Some people call us Nazis.We're not Nazis.No, what we are, we are nationalists and there's a reason people try to pigeonhole us like this.And that is because of one word, gentleme...
Dobbs: [in one sentence] Do you believe that stuff the old man was saying the other night at the Oso Negro about gold changin' a man's soul so's he ain't the same sort of man as he was before findin' it?
Richter: I want that fucker dead! Helm: I don't blame you, man. I wouldn't want a guy like Quaid porkin' my old lady. Richter: You saying she liked it? Helm: Uh... no... I'm sure she hated every minute of it.
Kid #3: My Mommy says smoking kills. Nick Naylor: Oh, is your Mommy a doctor? Kid #3: No. Nick Naylor: A scientific researcher of some kind? Kid #3: No. Nick Naylor: Well, then she's hardly a credible expert, is she?
[referring to the bank customers] Crazy Lee: I kill 'em now? Pike Bishop: No. Hold them here until the shooting starts. Crazy Lee: I'll hold 'em here 'til Hell freezes over or you say different.
Owen: After accepting a lift home, Duncan is putting his bicycle in the back of Owen's convertible. Owen, in his way of telling Duncan to be careful about dirtying the back of the car, says "It's just the right amount of shitty."
