Max Jerry Horovitz: I have also invented some new words. "Confuzzled", which is being confused and puzzled at the same time, "snirt", which is a cross between snow and dirt, and "smushables", which are squashed groceries you find at the bottom of the...
Young journalist: Everything you say is contradictory. You can't have been in one place and another at the same time. Of all those lives, which one is the right one? Nemo Nobody aged 118: Each of these lives is the right one! Every path is the right ...
Chamlee: I don't like it, no sir. I've always treated every man the same: just as another, future customer. Henry: Well in that case, get that hearse rolling. Chamlee: I can't, my driver's quit! Robert: He's prejudiced too, huh? Chamlee: Well, when i...
Colonel Blake: [blows whistle] Alright, men! we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice. But first, I'd like to officially welcome Spearchucker to our team. It is okay to call you that? Spearchucker: Call me whatever you want to. Colonel...
Frank: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day. Jane: Goodyear? Frank: No, the worst.
Ed: [after Ludwig has been shot with a cuff link dart, fallen off a building, run over by a bus, flattened by a steam roller, and trampled by a marching band] Oh, Frank! It's horrible. That's so horrible! Frank: [comforts Ed] I know, Ed. Ed: My fathe...
Carol: Max made fools of us, Noodles! He wanted to die! Did you know his old man died in the nuthouse? Max didn't want to end up the same way, so he put the idea in our heads to tip off the cops. And when they stopped the truck, Max started shooting ...
[waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel] Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear? Del: Why are you holding my hand? Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand? Del: Between two pillows... Neal: Those aren't pillows! [they both leap out of bed, sc...
Olivia Wenscombe: You married her. You had a child with her. Alfred Borden: Yes. Part of me did. But the other part... the other part didn't. The part that found you, the part that's sitting here right now. Olivia Wenscombe: You could be in some othe...
Jellon Lamb: Perhaps you've read "On the Origin of the Species By Means of Natural Selection" by Charles Darwin. Oh, don't be thrown by the title, he had some most fascinating things to say. Chilling things. Mr. Darwin spent time studying Aboriginals...
Jane: Are you lost? The Unmarried Mother: No I'm looking for someone. Thanks, I'll just wait. Jane: Well, you know what they say about good things happening to those who wait. The Unmarried Mother: But only the things left behind by those who hustle ...
Charlie: I know who you are, Sam. I know I'm quiet... and, and I know I should speak more. But if you knew the things that were in my head most of the time, you'd know what it really meant. How, how much we're alike, and how we've been through the sa...
[after Carlos has a quarrel with Consuelo] John T. Chance: You take chances, my friend. Carlos Robante: Because I know woman. If she will be mad or she will be sorry - if it is 'mad', she will be much pleasure to make right; and if she is 'sorry', it...
[to Margie] Ray Charles: You know what they're saying about me? Said I lost something. Said I've gone middle-of-the-road. They might as well say the same thing about you. You were the soul of this band, now every time you're around you're just drunk....
Dianne: I don't think he'd leave us, Davs. David: Wouldn't he? Lizzy, how can you put your faith in a man you spectacularly binned for being unreliable? A man whose idea of a romantic nightspot and an impenetrable fortress are the same thing? It's......
Gretchen: 18,000 dollars? Eduardo Saverin: Yes. Gretchen: In addition to the $1,000 you'd already put up? Eduardo Saverin: Yes. Gretchen: A total of $19,000 now? Eduardo Saverin: Yes. Mark Zuckerberg: Hang on. [Mark sarcastically adds up the 2 amount...
LaBoeuf: I am not accustomed to so large a fire. In Texas, we'll make do with a fire of little more than twigs... buffalo chips. Heat the night's ration of beans. And it is Ranger policy never to make your camp in the same place as your cook fire. Ve...
Rooster Cogburn: [cocks his gun] Mr. Rat... I have a writ here says you're to stop eating Chen Lee's cornmeal forthwith. Now it's a rat writ, writ for a rat, and this is lawful service of the same. See? Doesn't pay any attention to me. [shoots the ra...
Valentine: You're not afraid? The Judge: I wonder what I'd do in their place. The same thing. Valentine: You'd throw stones? The Judge: In their place? Of course. And that goes for everyone I judged. Given their lives, I would steal, I'd kill, I'd li...
[Rose is about to cut Jack free with an axe] Jack: Wait, wait, wait! Take a couple practice swings over there. [Rose chops a hole in a cupboard door] Jack: Good! Now try and hit the same mark again, Rose. You can do it! [Rose chops again, missing the...
Rose: The last thing I need is another portrait of me looking like a porcelain doll [she holds up a dime] Rose: as a paying customer I expect to get what I want [she takes off her robe and Jack looks surprised and nervously at the same time and he si...
