Quotes of: Sales Keyword

I put my heart in a paper cup, so she’d be more likely to drink it up.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My love is a good neighbor—there is a fence around my heart. I’m not cold-hearted, despite having a touch of Frost in there.

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People don’t know I have a checkered past. I used to be a picnic table cloth.

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If a handicapped woman says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask her if that includes parking.

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The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special.

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Bosses are like assholes—everybody’s got one. Well, everyone except the unemployed. But still, bosses are like assholes, in that they are assholes.


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I feel with a mullet and a mustache my job prospects would improve.

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I don’t kind of like to be kind and like you—I love to be kind and love you.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If somebody’s a jerk and says something nasty, be a bigger jerk and say something kind and walk away.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

A smile is like a simile, if you have a mouth like a metaphor. That would make for like the best kiss ever.

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I don’t know what I’ll do until I know what you’ll do. I’m proactive with my preemptive reactive strategy.


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I want to invent a Laughometer, a device to measure and gauge humor, which would be used for comedians. And politicians.

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LIberty is slavery. Or, well, you already know. P.S. Can you find my logo in the image?

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If I say “No decision has been made,” it’s a lie—because I have decided to remain undecided.

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I’ve decided I like making love on rainy days. Ever since she asked me to wear a raincoat.

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I am a fisherman, a hunter, and a lover. A lover of men, not animals. And by men I mean women.

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The doors magically opened without the assistance of modern electronic devices. Instead, they cleverly employed doormen.

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If you forget your manners, you can always borrow mine. I won't be using them.

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My wife must be stupid. I mean, look, she married me, didn’t she?

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If somebody tells me and my wife to get a room, I always ask, How about the kitchen?

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I asked for her hand in marriage, but instead got the whole body. Love is full of surprises!

This Book is Not FOR SALE