Quotes of: Sales-tax Keyword

It was a dumb mistake, sleeping with her, and I learned from the experience. Still, I’d gladly make the same mistake tonight if she calls.

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I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make love, and that is why I am the Director of Redundancy.

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I’ve felt alone, cold, and clothed in shame for too long. Let the sunlight be my blanket, wardrobe, and toilet paper.

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I did something so stupid last night that I can’t even speak about it today. I took a vow of silence.

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I said it unto him who isn’t, and he wisely said nothing. Sometimes saying nothing is saying more than enough.

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In complete silence you can’t hear a thing. Just ask a deaf person—but ask them with your fingers.

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I oft go to a loft aloft in the sky. I go alone, because I enjoy the company of a lofty intellect.

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Going to bed at sunrise, I find a blindfold helps me sleep. Also, I like it when my kidnappers put pillows in the trunk.

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As an extreme method of saving, I’d kidnap myself, if I thought I’d actually pay the ransom money before I committed suicide.

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She’s not a pothead. That thing on her neck is a vase. And anyway, I’m all for legalization. After all, why should surrealism be illegal?

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I’m tired of talking. I want you to extract my thoughts through my nostrils.

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I think someone should invent an edible remote control, to go along with TV dinners.

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I think I have a strange thing growing out of my neck that causes me to think too much.

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I took a shortcut and saved a ton of time. Literally 2,000 pounds of it. Now I have extra time and love to give to you.

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When tragedy befalls me and someone says, "Better you than me," I always reply, "Yes, I am better than you.

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I’m like a tree frog when it comes to birthdays. Basically, my thoughts on birthdays can be summed up in two words: tree and frog.

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If my name were Nubby Blues, I wouldn't be a jazz musician, I'd be a disabled Vietnam vet on welfare.

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I drink special water, because not all water is equal. Some water is smarter and taller and more handsome than other water.

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I’m as deadly as a marine, when compared to marine plant life. It took lots of water, sunlight, and standing still to get this badass.

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He wouldn’t even understand dry wit if you dropped him off in the desert with a canteen full of sand and a Sandberg poem.

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Women love to talk. I'll bet Van Gogh had a woman. And I'll bet she talked his ear off.

This Book is Not FOR SALE