A man who claims to be 32 degrees is one freezing freemason. That man must make love with all the warmth of a shadowy secret.
I want to be a part of your world. Or, if that’s too much to ask, I’d accept being a part of your globe.
If love had the texture of a turtle, and the taste of a rabbit, would you say we’re moving too fast in our relationship?
Love is being able to be yourself, with another human being who makes you want to be better than yourself.
My name is my reputation. And all I have in this world is my name. Well, and my penis, which shoots out millions of other names.
If I were in Steve Prefontaine’s shoes, I’d have done the same thing he did. Except for all that running. I wouldn’t have done that.
In the long run, even a marathon looks like a sprint. This is how I can love with such Roger Bannisteresque intensity.
I walk slowly when I’m being introspective and nostalgic. Some might call it moping. But I don’t. I call it love.
I don’t need to actually make my product safer. All I need to do to make it safe is put a warning label on the package.
When I was growing up, I’d walk to school in the snow. In Florida. Uphill all three ways.
I know the secret number of the universe. It’s one, for the individual in search of the secret number. But the secret itself is love, and lies outside of one.
I make love like a flamethrower would make a good ice machine. But that’s OK, because I like ice water.
The two sisters wouldn’t sleep with me. But it’s cool, because they were nuns, and I didn’t have my clerical costume on.
When sex is Freon any occasion, it usually involves something dripping and toxic. At least that's what my mechanic tells me.
I made love with a cute woman yesterday. I would have made love with a gorgeous woman, but she was more expensive.
I’m a person, you’re a person, and we should make love. That is, if you’re a person who’s also roughly ½ of the population known as women.
I would have sex in the backseat of my car, but from back there, how would I be able to hit the brakes? Or steer the vehicle?
Me mating with a midget is like a skyscraper having sex with a cathedral. But still I’d like to try. Just not while mass is in session.
If I’m having sex during an earthquake, would I get a refund on all those quarters I just put in the vibrating bed?
For breakfast I want a bowl of sugar with some corn flakes sprinkled on top. Then I want to make sweet love to you.
I enjoy breakfast in bed. But not while I am sleeping, because that’s when I’m making love.
