Quotes of: Sales-tax Keyword

I could tell we were going to get along from the way he wiped his ass—on my tie.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Normal is made up of two friends—Norm and Al. That’s twice the number of friends that I have, probably because I’m weirder than normal.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I haven’t seen my old friends in a while. Maybe next week I’ll go visit them in the nursing home.

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What do I do for fun? Well, I’d love to get into the bank robbing business, but government work is not for me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Last time I had sex I was so good I got a standing ovation. Well, actually, I just got the clap.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I like wearing a blindfold while watching movies, so that I can focus on the dialogue. My favorite flicks are the silent movies.

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If I were a mannequin, I'd know people would only want me for my body. But that's OK, because that's how it is now.

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I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight.

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I like watching people stretch in the park. It's my new favorite pastime since I bought a portable rack.

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My words and my ideas are my property, and I’ll keep and protect them as surely as I do my stable of unicorns.

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I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my silent “p.” Stay quiet woman!

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If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping.

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I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me.

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I am innocent! But only because the opportunity to partake in an activity that would render me guilty has not presented itself.

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I don’t understand people who don’t like meatloaf. Your mom doesn’t make it like Michael Aday does.

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I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

On March 5th, I'm having my birthday celebration. The party starts at midnight, and ends at 12:01 AM. Don't be late!

This Book is Not FOR SALE

You can't put a price tag on human life. But if you could, I'd demand coupons for clones.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Sometimes I pretend I'm from the 19th century. Then I drive around and say, Wow! So this is what the future's like, huh?

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Thinking ahead is like remembering the future. How about that time we made love? I’ll bet it will be amazing.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Her and I, we passed each other, and now she’s in my past. That’s one present I’d like to unwrap in the future.

This Book is Not FOR SALE