My agent said, 'Jerry, Dancing With the Stars - they want you on there.' I said, 'Ain't no way. I'm not going to do that.' Then he came back to me again, and he kept putting pressure on me. I said, 'All right, I'll give it a try.'
When I auditioned for 'Bye Bye Birdie' on Broadway, Gower Champion said, 'You've got the job!' I said, 'Mr. Champion, I can't dance.' He said, 'We'll teach you what you need to know.'
Bernie Riley: Claire said I can't be friends with you anymore. Cal: What? Bernie Riley: She said we had to choose between you and Emily. I chose you. But she said no.
Three publishers came to me at the White House after George lost and said, 'We would like to publish your book.' I said, 'Well, I don't have a book,' and they said well it's a well known fact that you have kept diaries.
I said the rosary, and I said the Our Father, as they call it in the Catholic Church. One of the things I learned in the conversion process was to say the rosary, and I had a set of rosary beads. So I said 'Hail Mary, full of grace.'
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
I said I was 'The Greatest,' I never said I was the smartest!
Almost anything can be funny if said the right way - but it has to be said the right way.
Most of the worst things said about me, I've said myself.
I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?
Yes you're getting your tattoo." I threw my arms around Dad's neck. "Thank you!" "Hey," Mom said. "I'm the one who had to persuade him it wasn't turning his little girl into a streetwalker." "I never said that," Dad said. "No?" I said. "Cool. Cause I...
Woodward said that he had told no one the name of Deep Throat. Mrs. Graham paused. 'Tell me,' she said. Woodward froze. He said he would give her the name if she wanted. He was praying she wouldn't press it. Mrs. Graham laughed, touched his arm and s...
Well?" Ron said finally, looking up at Harry. "How was it?" Harry considered it for a moment. "Wet," he said truthfully. Ron made a noise that might have indicated jubilation or disgust, it was hard to tell. "Because she was crying," Harry continued ...
You're not just doing that to impress her, are you?" "Everything I do is to impress her. It's my mission in life," he said with a completely serious face, while he squeezed my knee under the table. Mom burst out laughing. "I like him," she said. "Me ...
Vera had not sensed my approach. She was peering into the instrument and turning knobs with child-like seriousness and ineptitude. It was obvious that she had never used a microscope before. I stole closer to her, and then I said, "Boo!" She jerked h...
How many books are there?" said Masklin. "Hundreds! Thousands!" "Do you know what they're all about?" Gurder looked at him blankly. "Do you know what you're saying?" he said. "No. But I want to find out." "They're about everything! You'd never believ...
Where's Simon?" Clary interrupted. Isabelle wobbled. "He's a rat," she said darkly. Did he do something to you?" Alec was full of brotherly concern. "Did he touch you? If he tried anything-" No, Alec," Isabelle said irritably. "Not like that. He's a ...
Jerry Falwell said that the reason that September 11th happened, the reason that God allowed it to happen, was because of certain people in our country. People like, and I'm quoting, 'the pagans,' which is a motorcycle group. Feminists; he brought up...
Cecil fingered the Agnus Dei round her neck. "Why shouldn't they have lucky things?" she said. "Well, it's all very complicated," Dominic said. "And perhaps I'm not the one to explain it." "Why not?" Cecil asked, surprised. "Because I don't know if I...
Morelli was wearing a blazer over a black knit shirt, He took a seat, and his jacket swung wide, exposing the gun at his hip. "Nice piece!" Grandma said. "What is it? Is that a forty-five?" "It's a nine- millimeter." "Don't suppose you'd let me see i...
Christopher: Hey dad, you wanna hear something funny? There was a man who was drowning, and a boat came, and the man on the boat said "Do you need help?" and the man said "God will save me". Then another boat came and he tried to help him, but he sai...
