Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference was for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Life Buoy, on...
Mother: Is this another one of your silly puzzles? Mr. Parker: Yeah, another one of my silly puzzles. This one could be worth FIFTY THOUSAND BUCKS. Mother: What is it this time? Mr. Parker: Name the great characters in American literature. Mother: Vi...
Donnie: [to Pommeroy, about the Graham Greene story] Well, they say it right when they flood the house, and they tear it to shreds that, like, uh, destruction is a form of creation. So the fact that they burn the money is ironic. They just want to se...
[first lines] Title Cards: Note, any resemblance between Hynkle the Dictator and the Jewish Barber is purely co-incidental. Title Cards: This is a story of a period between two World Wars - an interim in which Insanity cut loose. Liberty took a nose ...
Sam: You're in it right now, aren't you? Andrew Largeman: What? Sam: My mom always says that, when she can see I'm like working something out in my head, she's like, 'you're in it right now' and I'm looking at you're telling this story, and you're de...
Walter Burns: You've got the brain of a pancake. This isn't just a story you're covering - it's a revolution. This is the greatest yarn in journalism since Livingstone discovered Stanley. Hildy Johnson: It's the other way around. Walter Burns: Oh, we...
Louis: Thirty years had passed, yet her body remained that of an eternal child. Her eyes alone told the story of her age, staring out from under her doll-like curls, with a questioning that will one day need an answer.
Chief Inspector Uhl: As a boy, I'm told, he had a chance encounter with a travelling magician. One version of the story was that the man himself vanished... along with the tree. People began to think he had some sort of special power... or at least t...
Brigadier General Norman Cota: I don't have to tell you the story. You all know it. Only two kinds of people are gonna stay on this beach: those that are already dead and those that are gonna die. Now get off your butts. You guys are the Fighting 29t...
Satine: Harold, the poor Duke is being treated appallingly. These silly writers let their imaginations run away with them. [to the Duke] Satine: Now why don't you and I have a little supper. And then afterwards, we can let Monsieur Zidler know how we...
C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...? Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids...
Macaulay Connor: [calling outside his house] C.K. Dexter Haven! Oh, C.K. Dexter Haven! C. K. Dexter Haven: [coming to the door in his pajamas] What's up? Macaulay Connor: You are. C. K. Dexter Haven: I only hope it's worth it. Come in.
Ray Charles: I love the stories. You know, about fallin' in love, and having love knock you around, and then the pressures of the world on you so tough it makes you feel small. You just want to give your soul to God. You might as well, your ass belon...
[Don's about to start shooting a new movie] Cosmo Brown: What's this one about? Don Lockwood: It's a French revolution story... Cosmo Brown: Don't tell me. You're a French aristocrat, she's a simple girl of the people, and she won't even give you a t...
Alvin: I'd give each one of 'em a stick and, one for each one of 'em, then I'd say, 'You break that.' Course they could real easy. Then I'd say, 'Tie them sticks in a bundle and try to break that.' Course they couldn't. Then I'd say, "That bundle... ...
Danny Riordan, Clermont Resident: Well, you know, Alvin, there's a lot of hills bigger than Clairmont's between here and Zion. Even if you get that mower running again, it might still break down. Alvin Straight: Well, you're a kind man talking to a s...
Ed (editor): McCoy! Billy, kill that story about the Republican Convention in Chicago and take this down: "The Ringo Kid was killed on Main Street in Lordsburg tonight. And among the additional dead were..." Leave that blank for a spell. McCoy, types...
[Woody finds Buzz dressed up as "Mrs. Nesbitt" and in the company of two headless dolls] Woody: What happened to you? Buzz: One minute you're defending the whole galaxy, and, suddenly, you find yourself sucking down darjeeling with Marie Antoinette.....
[Andy and his mom stop at the gas station] Andy: Can I help you fill up? Andy's Mom: Sure, I'll even let you drive. Andy: Really? Andy's Mom: Yeah, when you're 16. Andy: Yup, yup. Very funny, Mom.
Minesweeper soldier: [after Andy's mom has stepped on one of the soldiers, they get up and make their way to a plant, but the stepped-on one struggles and is crippled] Just... just go on without me! Sergeant: [goes over to him and helps him up] A goo...
Woody: [while everyone else is scared by the long, thin present one of Andy's guests is bringing] All right, all right! If I send out the troops, will you all come down? Rex: [yells] Yes, yes, we promise! Woody: O-KAY! Save your batteries.
