The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis DillerI have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert BenchleyWell, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.
Sarah SilvermanI'm never afraid to try something if I think it's funny. And I know I'll regret it if I don't.
Seann William ScottThere is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices.
Tim Heidecker