Murph: Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray. Ray: Ah, you have a good eye, my man. That's the best in the city Chicago. Jake: How much? Ray: 2000 bucks and it's yours. You can take it home with you. As a matter of fact, I'll throw in the b...
[Trying to get Mr. Fabulous back into the band] Jake: If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day of the week. [Elwood takes a huge, obnoxious bite out of his bread] Mr. Fabulous: Okay, okay. I'll play. You g...
Richard Vernon: You think about this: when you get old, these kids - when *I* get old - they're going to be running the country. Carl: Yeah. Richard Vernon: Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night. That when I get older, t...
[eleventh title card] Title Card: In late August, America's elite soldiers, Delta Force, Army Rangers and the 160th SOAR are sent to Mogadishu to remove Aidid and restore order. [twelfth title card] Title Card: The mission was to take three weeks, bu...
Doughboy: We got a problem here? We got a problem, nigga? [Ferris and gang take a step back] Ferris: Put the gun away, nigga. Female Club Member: Can we have one night where there ain't no fightin'; nobody gets shot? Doughboy: Shut up, bitch!
Sundance Kid: Well, I think I'll get saddled up and go looking for a woman. Butch Cassidy: Good hunting. Sundance Kid: Shouldn't take more than a couple of days. I'm not picky. As long as she's smart, pretty, and sweet, and gentle, and tender, and re...
Celine: You know what? The only time I get to think now is when I take a shit at the office. I'm starting to associate thoughts with the smell of shit. Jesse: Ha ha. That is a good line. I gonna use that in a book some day. Celine: I'm sure you will....
A word that turns up in TNR’s literary pieces is “tasteless. “ They use it in the same way you might reprove a toilet joke at the dinner table or around relatives. But with them it takes on moral weight. It’s a very damaging mistake: the idea...
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is...
I drag my world where I belong... Lost in the oubliette of conscious I hide from the murkiest of shadows Generate hope amidst fear And dewdrops amidst rain My tears don’t carry the burden of pain By taking the draperies of fate along In desire of m...
The thing to do with mutual funds is to buy a couple of decent ones, set up an investment plan and then never, ever think about them again, except maybe once a quarter or so when you take a peek at your statements to make sure that you have not accid...
The notion that before you even set out to go to Thailand, you say, 'I'm not interested,' or you're unwilling to try things that people take so personally and are so proud of and so generous with, I don't understand that, and I think it's rude. You'r...
He loved her for being so beautiful, and he hated her for it. He loved how she put shiny stuff on her lips for him, and he also reviled her for it. He wanted her to walk home alone, and he wanted to run after her and grab her up before she could take...
You want a child who never makes you anything but proud? Please. Don't bother taking on parenthood if you can't handle the fact that sometimes your child's identity won't be what you would have chosen. And if you want to prevent a child from ever suf...
In fact, among the people I met, the term served essentially as a synonym for 'fucked up'. I'd been in the country about three days when a car that was sent to take me to an interview failed to start. After several attempts to get it going, the drive...
I remember my first acting class: I was like, 'That's it.' If I know that I want to do something then I'm going to do it and there's no stopping me, whether it's if I want to take a movie part or don't, or eat sushi for lunch or don't. There's always...
If you are going to be successful in creating the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. Whether you call it self-esteem, self-confidence or self-assurance, it is a deep-seated belief that you have what it ...
I think because I did become a well-known face in my thirties and not in my twenties, I was pretty settled in my boots and I knew who I was. And I think there's a sort of Scottish thing, too, where you don't take yourself too seriously, and you don't...
There is nothing worse than having an enemy who is a total loser. It's incredibly frustrating when seeking revenge against one, because you come to the realization that there is really nothing you can do to make the person's life worse than it alread...
I'm all over the place, up and down, scattered, withdrawing, trying to find some elusive sense of serenity." The world can't give that serenity. The world can't give us peace. We can only find it in our hearts." I hate that." I know. But the good new...
Travel if you wish, taste strange dishes, gather experience in dangerous activities, but see that your soul remains your own. Do not become a stranger to yourself, for you are lost from that day on; you will have no peace if there is not, somewhere w...
