Roger: Here's a joke, boy. One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to shit, and lands in...
Tucker: [Dale is attracted to one of the college co-eds at the gas station, but hesitates to try to go talk to her] She's just human. Why don't you go over and talk to her? Dale: Talk to her? What... What in the world would I say? Tucker: I don't kno...
First Sgt. Edward Welsh: Hey Witt, who you making trouble for today? Private Witt: What do you mean? First Sgt. Edward Welsh: Well, isn't that what you like to do? Turn left when they say go right. Why are you such a trouble maker Witt? Private Witt:...
Wyatt Earp: All right, Clanton... you called down the thunder, well now you've got it! You see that? [pulls open his coat, revealing a badge] Wyatt Earp: It says United States Marshal! Ike Clanton: [terrified, pleading] Wyatt, please, I... Wyatt Earp...
Rapunzel: [after leaving her tower; happily] I can't believe I did this! [worried] Rapunzel: I can't believe I did this. [excitedly squealing] Rapunzel: I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS! [nervous laughter] Rapunzel: ... Mother would be so furious. [later, ...
Flynn Rider: Let me just get this straight, I take you to see the lanterns, bring you back home, and you'll give me back my satchel? Rapunzel: I promise. [Flynn looks Rapunzel suspiciously] Rapunzel: And when I promise something, I never ever break t...
Begbie: Picture the scene: The other fuckin' week there, down the fuckin' Volley with Tommy, playing pool. I'm playing like Paul-Fuckin'-Newman by the way. Givin' the boy here the tannin' of a lifetime. So it comes to the, down to the last shot, the ...
[after seeing Coughlin die, Doug - still wearing his BPD uniform - hops into one BPD cruiser parked nearby with its engine running. He closes the door and drives off. He parks in front of Fergie's shop, and enters, caught by a surveillance camera] Do...
[Krista has been hospitalized after a car accident. Frawley approaches her] Krista Coughlin: There he is. Mr. Six Inches. FBI S.A. Adam Frawley: What happened? Krista Coughlin: You're a crime stopper, figure it the fuck out. FBI S.A. Adam Frawley: Sw...
[On the shuttle bus ride to the Hilton Miami Airport Hotel] Natalie Keener: Never? Ryan Bingham: No. Natalie Keener: Ever? Ryan Bingham: No. Natalie Keener: You never wanna get married? Ryan Bingham: Nope. Natalie Keener: Never want kids? Ryan Bingha...
Will Munny: I ain't like that no more. I ain't the same, Ned. Claudia, she straightened me up, cleared me of drinkin' whiskey and all. Just 'cause we're goin' on this killing, that don't mean I'm gonna go back to bein' the way I was. I just need the ...
Bodyguard: [Ness confronts Capone] Something you want here? Ness: My friend was killed today. Bodyguard: I don't care. Ness: You don't care. [Ness punches the bodyguard in the nose, knocking him to the ground] Ness: Now he does. [to Capone] Ness: Com...
Lyle Gorch: All your fancy plannin' and talkin' damn near got us shot to pieces over a few lousy bags of washers. Well, this was goin' to be me and Tector's last job before we quit and headed south. We spent all our time and money a-gettin' ready for...
Marwood: Parkin's been. There's the supper. [a live chicken is standing on the table] Withnail: What are we supposed to do with that? Marwood: Eat it. Withnail: Eat it? Fucker's alive. Marwood: Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. Withnail: Me? ...
June Carter: [on stage w/John] We've got these people all revved up, John. Now c'mon, let's sing Jackson for 'em. Johnny Cash: You've got me all revved up. Now I've asked you forty different ways and it's time you come up with a fresh answer. June Ca...
Judge Doom: [deleted scene] Rummaging around in a lady's dressing room? Tsk, tsk, tsk. What were you looking for, Mr. Valiant? Jessica Rabbit: Last week, some heavy breather wanted one of my nylons as a souvenir. Eddie Valiant: Look, doll, if I'd wan...
[Erik corners the President and his men, and makes a speech at the cameras there] Erik Lehnsherr: You built these weapons to destroy us. Why? Because you are afraid of our gifts. Because we are different. Humanity has always feared that which is diff...
Kostya Novotny: I pick her out special just for you. Monty Brogan: The last girl you picked out special for me had three teeth, all in the back. Kostya Novotny: Funny you should say that. [laughs] Monty Brogan: Why? Why is it funny I should say that?...
Guido: What is this flash of joy that's giving me new life? Please forgive me sweet creatures; I didn't realize, I didn't know. How right it is to accept you, to love, you... and how simple! Luisa, I feel I've been set free. Everything looks good to ...
Charlie Kaufman: [voice-over] I am pathetic, I am a loser... Robert McKee: So what is the substance of writing? Charlie Kaufman: [voice-over] I have failed, I am panicked. I've sold out, I am worthless, I... What the fuck am I doing here? What the fu...
Mama Lucas: You don't shoot cops. Even I know that. Eva knows it. The only one who DOESN'T seem to know is you. Frank Lucas: [ignores her pleas as he escorts her outside] All right, Mama. I'm not going to, I promise you. I'm not going to shoot anyone...
