Flick: Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb! Schwartz: That's 'cause you know it'll stick! Flick: You're full of it! Schwartz: Oh yeah? Flick: Yeah! Schwartz: Well I double-DOG-dare ya! Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] NOW i...
Schwartz: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya. Flick: Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything? Schwartz: He k...
Gru: I have accepted a new job. Margo: Whoa! Really? Gru: Yes, I have been recruited by a top secret agency to go undercover and save the world! Edith: You're gonna be a spy? Gru: *That's* right, baby! Gru's back in the game with gadgets and weapons ...
Johann: Captain, I wish to apologize. Captain: You can't just apologize, Johann. You left your battle station at a critical moment. Also, you disobeyed my command. Johann: Will I be court-martialed? Captain: How many patrols have you done? Johann: It...
[At the school assembly speaking out against Jim Cunningham] Donnie: You want your sister to lose weight? Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating Twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey. You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be whe...
[Caron calls London, Assistant Commisioner Mallinsion at 3:58 in the morning] Mallinson: I don't wish to sound rude, Inspector, but wouldn't it be better if this sort of routine inquiry could be conducted through the proper channels, preferably when ...
Bruce Wayne: People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do? Alfred Pennyworth: Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They'll hate you for it, but that's the point of Batman, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the ...
[Sullivan tries to enter Queenan's office, but Dignam blocks his way] Colin Sullivan: Problem? Dignam: Yeah, I got a problem. I run rat fucks like you, okay? I don't like 'em. Colin Sullivan: The day you wouldn't take a promotion, let me know. And if...
Billy Costigan: When are you gonna take Costello, huh? [animated] Billy Costigan: I mean, what's wrong with taking him on any one of the [yelling] Billy Costigan: million fucking felonies that you've seen him do, or I've seen him do? I mean, I mean, ...
Standard: Do you want to hear how mommy and me met? Benicio: Yeah. Standard: Yeah? Okay. We were at a party. And she was nineteen years old. Irene: Seventeen. Standard: You weren't seventeen. Irene: I was. Standard: Wow. So it was illegal. [laughs] S...
Shannon: [about Driver] You know, he walked into my shop here about five or six years ago. Right out of the blue. Asking for a job. So I put him to the test to see what he could do. The kid's amazing. Irene: Yeah. Shannon: So I hired him on the spot....
[about to call Simon with the answer to another riddle] Zeus: No, wait, wait! It's a trick. It's a trick. John McClane: What d'you mean? Zeus: I forgot about the man. John McClane: What man? Fuck the man! We got ten seconds here! Zeus: He said, "how ...
Zeus: Morning. John McClane: Good morning. Zeus: You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate niggers" has either got some serious person...
Zeus: Don't fuckin' move. Simon: [turns around] Oh, the Samaritan. Zeus: Gimme the goddamn code. Simon: Code? [realizing what Zeus is talking about] Simon: Oh, you mean for the school. I'm sorry, I can't do that. Zeus: You call in that code right now...
Patrick: You know that girl we did last week? The one with the potatoes. Stan: That girl? Yeah, that's this guy's girl. Patrick: Yeah. Stan: Right... Was. Took care of that. Patrick: Well uh, I kind of fell in love with her that night. Stan: What? Yo...
Bill Foster: I'm the Bad Guy? Sergeant Prendergast: Yeah. Bill Foster: How'd that happen? I did everything they told me to. Did you know I build missiles? I helped to protect America. You should be rewarded for that. But instead they give it to the p...
Mrs. Fox: [Kristofferson has just departed after Ash's comment] You have got twenty-nine minutes to come up with a proper apology. Ash: [snaps, gestures wildly] Me? *Me* have an apology? He gets a bandit hat? He just got here, and he gets a bandit ha...
Hendley: Right. Bartlett: Dennis, maps and surveys. Colin, you'll take your usual job. Eric, have you thought how you're going to get rid of this dirt? Ashley-Pitt: Yes, I have. The usual places. I hadn't anticipated three tunnels, but we'll manage. ...
Will: Beethoven, okay. He looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play. Skylar: So what are you saying? You play the piano? Will: No, not a lick. I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of woo...
Luna Lovegood: Harry, wait, I need to talk to you. Harry Potter: I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment, Luna. Luna Lovegood: You won't find it where you're going, you're wasting your time. Harry Potter: We'll talk later, ok? Luna Lovegood: Harry! Harry...
Hiccup: [to Valka, about the dragon sanctuary] This is where you've been for twenty years? [Valka nods] Hiccup: You-you've been rescuing them. [Valka nods again] Hiccup: Unbelievable. Valka: You're not upset? Hiccup: What? No! I... I don't know. I......
