[at the police station] Slimey Lawyer: Attempted murder? Well, it's not like he killed someone. This is a clear violation of my client's civil rights. Bail Bondsman: Make it aggravated assault and I can make bail, in cash, now! Sgt. Reed: [angrily] L...
Ángela: So besides your father, who do you live with? Jennifer: With my mommy, my daddy, and my dog Max. Ángela: Your dog isn't here either, right? I can't see him. Jennifer: No, he's not. Ángela: Do you love your dog? Jennifer: Yes. Ángela: Why ...
Carla: [after telling Stanley she's pregnant] You didn't mean what you just said, did you? Stanley Goodspeed: When? Carla: Just right now, when you were talking about bringing a child into the world, and having it be an act of cruelty. Stanley Goodsp...
Princess Ann: I have to leave you now. I'm going to that corner there and turn. You must stay in the car and drive away. Promise not to watch me go beyond the corner. Just drive away and leave me as I leave you. Joe Bradley: All right. Princess Ann: ...
Joe Bradley: Tell you what. Why don't we do all those things, together? Princess Ann: But don't you have to work? Joe Bradley: Work? No. Today's gonna be a holiday. Princess Ann: But you want to do a lot of silly things? Joe Bradley: [He takes her ha...
Nutsy: [shouting] One o'clock and all's well! Sheriff of Nottingham: [clock chimes three times] Nutsy, you better set your brain ahead two hours. Nutsy: Right. Hey, Sheriff, does that there mean adding or subtracting? Sheriff of Nottingham: Oh, just ...
Remy: Hey, I brought you something to... [sees Emile eating garbage] Remy: AH! NO, NO, NO, NO! SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW! [Emile obeys] Remy: [sighs] I have *got* to teach you about food. Close your eyes. [Emile obeys; Remy holds out piece of cheese] R...
Gusteau: [on the TV] How can I describe it? Good food is like music you can taste, color you can smell. There is excellence all around you. You need only to be aware to stop and savor it. [Remy tastes food accompanied by synesthetic visions of color ...
[During a war game with BB guns] Royal: [on top of a roof, aiming at Chas] Hold it Chassie. Hold it right there. Young Chas Tenenbaum: What are you doing? You're on my team! Royal: Ha-ha! There are no teams! [he shoots at Chas, hitting his hand. Chas...
Grace: Mason, you have no idea what I'm going through right now. Mason: Then tell me. That's how this works. You talk to me about it so that I can take your hand and fucking walk through this shit with you. That is what I signed up for, Okay? But I c...
IRS Agent Stewart: Your income, Mr Court, hasn't changed substantially in seventeen years. Jim Court: That's right. IRS Agent Stewart: Why would you stay so long with an operation that is so clearly not a growth enterprise? Jim Court: Taking care of ...
Ann Newton: [Answering the phone] Newton's residence, Ann Newton speaking. Oh, hello, Mrs Henderson, this is Ann. No, Mother isn't here. A telegram? Well... [looks right, then left] Ann Newton: I don't see a pencil so I'll have to have her call you b...
Ed: Any zombies out there? Shaun: Don't say that! Ed: What? Shaun: That! Ed: What? Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it! Ed: Why not? Shaun: Because it's ridiculous! Ed: All right... are there any out there, though? [looking out of the letter-box, he se...
Shaun: [looking behind Ed's shoulder at the old woman in the pub] All right, what about her, then? Ed: [looking back at her, then to Shaun] Ooooooh... cockacidal maniac. Ex-porn star. She's done it all. They say she starred in the world's first inter...
[after Philip has been bitten] Philip: You didn't call the doctor, did you? Barbara: Well, I thought we ought to be on the safe side. Philip: I'm quite all right, Barbara, I ran it under a cold tap. Barbara: I really think... Philip: We had our jabs ...
James T. Kirk: Tell me everything you know about that ship. Khan: Dreadnought class. Two times the size, three times the speed. Advanced weaponry. Modified for a minimal crew. Unlike most Federation vessels, it's built solely for combat. James T. Kir...
Little Bonaparte: [thick Italian accent] Thank you, fellow opera-lovers. It's been ten years since I elected myself president of dis organization... an' if I say so myself, you made duh right choice. Let's look at duh record: In duh lass fissel year ...
[as they approach Fiona's castle, Donkey smells the air] Donkey: Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything! Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you'd be dead! [sniffs] Shrek...
Donkey: Okay, so here's another question: Say there's a woman who digs you, right, but you really don't like her THAT quick - now how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you...
Mason: Nicole, did the Pied Piper take the children away because he was mad that the town didn't pay him? Nicole: That's right. Mason: Well, if he knew magic, if he could get the kids into the mountain, why couldn't he use his magic pipe to make the ...
Billy Ansell: Mitchell Stephens, Esquire. Tell me, would you be likely to sue me if I was to beat you right now? I mean, beat you so bad you piss blood and couldn't walk for a month. Because that's what I'm about to do. Mitchell Stephens: No, Mr. Ans...
