[the boys are having trouble designing how to get across the river] Teddy: Okay, you guys can go around if you want. I'm crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses half way across the state and back, I'll be waiting on the other ...
Vern: You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? Teddy: What are you cracked? Vern: Why not? I saw the other day, he was carrying 5 elephants in one hand. Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothin', Mighty Mouse is a cartoon, Superman is a real guy, no w...
Elias: [removing a smoking black basket of fries] I don't think these look right. Randal Graves: Jesus! Step away from the fryer before you burn us all alive! Elias: It's not my fault you abandoned your post! Randal Graves: Was it too much to ask tha...
Sexy Stud: So, where're we doin' this thing? Randal Graves: Oh, right inside the restaurant. Sexy Stud: You're kidding. Randal Graves: Not spacious enough? Sexy Stud: No, it's plenty spacious, just kinda weird, isn't it? Randal Graves: Kinda weird? Y...
Jay: We can lend you the money under two conditions. One, we can hang out in front of your store and you can't call the cops. And two, you two have to blow each other right now. And we get to watch. And then you have to go ass to mouth. [Dante, Randa...
Alex: As we walked along the flatblock marina, I was calm on the outside, but thinking all the time. So now it was to be Georgie the general, saying what we should do and what not to do, and Dim as his mindless greeding bulldog. But suddenly I viddie...
Ugarte: Heh, you know, watching you just now with the Deutsche Bank, one would think you've been doing this all your life. Rick: Oh, what makes you think I haven't? Ugarte: Oh, n-n-n-nothing, but when you first came to Casablanca, I thought... Rick: ...
Sam: Let's get outta here. Rick: No Sam, I'm waiting for a lady. Sam: Please boss, let's go. Ain't nothing but trouble for you here. Rick: She's coming back. I know she's coming back. Sam: We'll take the car. We'll drive all night. We'll get drunk. W...
[when Pazu and Sheeta are preparing to launch in the kite] Dola: Are you up there, Sheeta, my dear? Sheeta: Yes. Dola: Best ya come down right now! Sheeta: But why? Dola: Uh? 'Cause you're a GIRL! A FEMALE! That's MAN'S work! Sheeta: But YOU'RE femal...
Mother: All right. Now, are you ready to tell me where you heard that word? Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It...
Mother: Randy, how do the little piggies go? Randy: [oinks like a pig] Mother: That's right. Oink, oink! Now show me how the piggies eat. [points to his plate] Mother: This is your trough. Show me how the piggies eat. Be a good boy. Show mommy how th...
[Donnie tries to kiss Gretchen and she pulls away] Donnie: I - I'm sorry. I... Gretchen: Look, Donnie, wait. Donnie: I like you a lot. Gretchen: I just want it to be at a time when it... Donnie: When what? Gretchen: When it reminds me just... Donnie:...
The Joker: [to Gambol's thugs, being held helpless by his own] Now, our operation is small, but there's a lot of potential for "aggressive" expansion. So, which one of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, there's only one spot open rig...
[Batman has just fought off Scarecrow and a group of Batman wannabes] Batman: Don't let me find you out here again. Brian: We're trying to help you! Batman: I don't need help. Dr. Jonathan Crane: Not my diagnosis! Brian: What gives you the right? Wha...
Two-Face: The joker chose me! Batman: Because you were the best of us. He wanted to prove that even someone as good as you could fall. Two-Face: And he was right. Batman: You're the one pointing the gun, Harvey. So point it at the people responsible....
Happy: [after cracking open the bank's safe] They wired this thing up with, like, 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that? Grumpy: A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy? Happy: Boss told me, when the guy was do...
Frank Costello: [Answers cell phone] What? Colin Sullivan: Yeah, you got a tail. Two cars, not very subtle. They're not gonna be very subtle from now on. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Frank Costello: So get rid of 'em. Colin Sullivan: The...
Jim Gordon: I never cared who you were... Batman: And you were right. Jim Gordon: ...but shouldn't the people know the hero whot saved them? Batman: A hero can be anyone. Even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a ...
Doctor: I've seen worse cartilage in knees. Bruce Wayne: That's good. Doctor: No, that's because there is NO cartilage in your knee, and not much of any use in your elbows or your shoulders. Between that and the scar tissue on your kidneys, the resid...
John Dunbar: Who would do such a thing? The field was proof enough that it was a people without value and without soul, with no regard for Sioux rights. The wagon tracks leading away left little doubt and my heart sank as I knew it could only be whit...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Say, let's get married. Kathy O'Hara: Huh? Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Right now. Let's go to Vegas. Kathy O'Hara: But, Eddie, it's pouring and the car top is stuck. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Phooey. It's only a five hour drive and it'll pro...
