Patrick: Hey, everyone! Every body! Everyone, raise your glasses to Charlie. Charlie: What did I do? Patrick: You didn't do anything. We just want to toast to our new friend. You see things and you understand. You're a wallflower. [Charlie gets embar...
Judge Arse: [disgusted] The evidence before the court is incontrovertible, there's no need for the jury to retire! In all my years of judging, I have never heard before some one more deserving of the full penalty of law! The way you made them suffer,...
H.I.: What are you talkin' about, Glen? Glen: What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about sex, boy, what the hell you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about l'amour! I'm talkin' that me and Dot are swingers, as in "to swing." I'm talkin' about wife swappin'...
Guy Woodhouse: [on Rosemary's decision to switch doctors] You know what Dr. Hill is? He's a Charlie Nobody, that's who he is! Rosemary Woodhouse: I'm tired of hearing about how great Dr. Sapirstein is! Guy Woodhouse: Well, I won't let you do it Ro. R...
Rocky: I been comin' here for six years, and for six years ya been stickin' it to me, an' I wanna know how come! Mickey: Ya don't wanna know! Rocky: I wanna know how come! Mickey: Ya wanna know? Rocky: I WANNA KNOW HOW! Mickey: OK, I'm gonna tell ya!...
Stanley Goodspeed: Hi, I'm an agent with the federal... FBI... Well, my, I'm Stanley Goodspeed. John Mason: But of course you are. Agent Paxton: Well, at least he got his name right. Stanley Goodspeed: Of course I am. John Mason: And you have an emer...
[Goodspeed's Beatles album arrives at the office] Stanley Goodspeed: Yes! She's here, bring it to me now, thank you Phil! Isherwood: What's that? And why did you have it sent here? Stanley Goodspeed: Carla wouldn't approve. She thinks it's dumb to sp...
Mr. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've been here a long fucking time and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled *six* times. Mr. Blonde: Six times. Well, what if she's too fucking busy? Mr. Pink: The words "t...
Raymond: Gotta get my boxer shorts at K-Mart. Charlie: [Pulls over, gets out of the car and yells] WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHERE YOU BUY UNDERWEAR? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? UNDERWEAR IS UNDERWEAR! IT IS UNDERWEAR WHEREVER YOU BUY IT! IN CIN...
[Location: on a back road, nineteen minutes to eleven o'clock] Charlie: We're not in the air, we're not on the highway, I'm on some shit secondary road. I gotta make up some time. I have to get to LA, I should've been there this afternoon, my busines...
John Glenn: Annie, listen to me, OK? You listening? If you don't want the Vice President or the TV networks or anybody else to come into the house, then that's it, as far as I'm concerned. They are NOT coming in, and I will back you all the way, a hu...
Joey Gazelle: [pulling her aside] Listen to me. That piece... that's not just any hot piece. Tommy used it to burn a dirty cop. Teresa Gazelle: Oh no, Joe. Joey Gazelle: Yeah. No, no. Listen. On top of it, that kid's out there right now. The cops are...
Emile: W-w-wait. You... read? Remy: Well, not... excessively. Emile: Oh, man. Does dad know? Remy: You could fill a book - a lot of books - with things Dad doesn't know. And they have. Which is why I read. Which is also our secret. Emile: I don't lik...
Linguini: [as Collette storms away] Colette. Colette! [to Remy] Linguini: Oh, it's over Little Chef, I can't do it anymore. [he runs outside and blocks Colette's motorcycle] Linguini: Colette! Wait, wait, wait. Don't motorcycle away. Look, I'm no goo...
L.B. Jefferies' Editor: It's about time you got married, before you turn into a lonesome and bitter old man. Jeff: Yeah, can't you just see me, rushing home to a hot apartment to listen to the automatic laundry and the electric dishwasher and the gar...
Geneva man: [a Red Cross official is inspecting the camp just after Sefton was beaten on suspicion being an enemy informant. The official sees his injuries] What happened to you? Were you beaten? [Sefton doesn't answer] Geneva man: Why don't you answ...
Lloyd Dobler: [leaving the last of a series of messages on Diane's answering machine] "Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an apocalyps...
Diane Court: You have to meet Bess. She's amazing. She's 93, she's a writer... and I told her about you. Lloyd Dobler: [Stops walking, stands in front of Diane] Wait, wait... You told her about me? Jim Court: [Walks by the adjacent hall, Sees to the ...
Admiral Piett: Lord Vader, our ships have completed their scan of the area and found nothing. If the Millennium Falcon went into light-speed, it'll be on the other side of the galaxy by now. Darth Vader: Alert all commands. Calculate every possible d...
Betty Schaefer: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis, but I just didn't think it was any good. I found it flat and trite. Joe Gillis: Exactly what kind of material do you recommend? James Joyce? Dostoyevsky? Betty Schaefer: I just think that pictures should say...
Doyle: [shouting] We don't got no Goddamn band! We don't need to fucking practice, Randy! We don't no shit-ass manager neither! You motherfuckers! You all are a bunch of losers! I'm the only sane son-of-a-bitch here! So get the *fuck* out of my house...
