Quotes of: Regular-person Keyword

Ever seen a cat with polka-dotted zebra fur? Come to my House of Love Open House this Friday night at 8:00 PM.


My love can only occupy one person at a time

I hold my cats like any other broom you’d use to sweep the floor. I’m a janitor among animal lovers.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

I made Tuesday Salad like Monday morning is Sunday night. Do you agree on the difference a day can make in the realm of love?

My love can only occupy one person at a time

I cried at the funeral. It wasn’t because I loved her, it was because I was there, in the front pew at the church, chopping onions.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

I want a coffee machine that runs on gasoline and drives me to work. We can make love in the backseat, next to the cream and sugar.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

Every time we made love, one of us cried. Mostly it was me, out of joy, but occasionally it was her, out of despair.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

I had a dream about you. You were a midget, only shorter.
But your love for me was tall and handsome and everything you’re not.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

Our time together was a blur—not because I was drunk, which I was, but because our love was like the beating of a hummingbird’s wings.


My love can only occupy one person at a time

My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

As an aspiring fashion designer, and lover of human anatomy, I always wonder why nipples don’t appear on the outside of shirts.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

Love is the best feeling in the universe. Actually, that’s not true. But only because I haven’t been very many places in the universe.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

The fire burnt down our House of Love. Our relationship didn’t work because I was the water, and she was the empty hose.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

Just because your plate is empty, doesn’t mean your stomach is full. Same with love. Where’s the Romance Buffet?

My love can only occupy one person at a time

I love microwave dinners. I also like eating other appliances, like fridges and dishwashers.


My love can only occupy one person at a time

My love is divided into three parts. I’ll give you part one and two for free, but for the fourth installation, you’ll have to pay for it.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

In the future, man will travel on flying carpets, and shoes that float on water. And we’ll all make love together, as one, as one might masturbate today.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

When I didn’t see a ghost, I knew I’d seen a ghost, because ghosts are invisible. This logic also lets me know when I’m in love.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

People, they only love themselves because you only love yourself. Love them, and they will love you.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

A fly with an elephant on its back would give the illusion of a flying elephant, if that fly were powered by my love for you.

My love can only occupy one person at a time

I make love like others make money. You’ve got to spend money to make money, right? If not, then why am I paying for sex?


My love can only occupy one person at a time

I live a single life. But only because there’s not enough room in my astronaut suit for two. There’s no love on the moon.

My love can only occupy one person at a time