I didn’t shave my mustache off. Instead what I did was taped Elton John’s asshole to my top lip and then all of the sudden I had twice the dick in my mouth as before. It was almost more than I could swallow. Almost.
There are many ways to get to know someone, and my favorite is seeing them naked in Happy Baby pose. I also feel it is important to have sex soon after meeting someone in order to find out if you have sexual chemistry together. Otherwise, you could w...
The way I pictured it, all this grief would be like a winter night when you're standing outside. You'll warm up once you get used to the cold. Except after you've been out there for awhile, you feel the warmth draining out of you and you realize the ...
She has never tried to find out what happened to her family — her mother or her relatives in Ireland. But over and over, Molly begins to understand as she listens to the tapes, Vivian has come back to the idea that the people who matter in our live...
Marla Singer: I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar. Narrator: It was worth every penny. Marla Singer: It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, and then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree. So special. Then, bam, it...
Mike: Oh, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face when that wall went up. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of pe...
P.L. Travers: The rumor is that this is to be your Mr. Van Dyke, is it? Richard Sherman: We hope so. P.L. Travers: Hmm. We'll see about that, he's totally wrong. Totally and utterly. Robert Sherman: Dick is one of the greats! P.L. Travers: Dick Van D...
Donnie Azoff: I got a couple of mil' comin' in like a week. And when it gets in, I'll give you a call and you come pick it up. Brad: You'll give me a call? Donnie Azoff: When it gets here, I'll give you a call and you'll come pick it up. Chantalle: W...
Today you go into make a modern recording with all this technology. The bass plays first, then the drums come in later, then they track the trumpet and the singer comes in and they ship the tape somewhere. Well, none of the musicians have played toge...
This other man he could never see in his entirety but he seemed an artisan and a worker in metal. The judge enshadowed him where he crouched at his trade but he was a coldforger who worked with hammer and die, perhaps under some indictment and an exi...
She held him at arms’ length, looked at the pipe still gripped inn his hand, then looked at his face and read him like a book. She ran the tip of her red tongue slowly across her full cushiony, sensuous lips, making them wet-red and looked him stra...
The swing of his nature took him from extreme languor to devouring energy; and as I knew well, he was never so truly formidable as when, for days on end, he had been lounging in his armchair amid his improvisations and his black-letter editions. Then...
He could not believe that any of them might actually hit somebody. If one did, what a nowhere way to go: killed by accident; slain not as an individual but by sheer statistical probability, by the calculated chance of searching fire, even as he himse...
When compared to the fact that he might very well be dead by this time tomorrow, whether he was courageous or not today was pointless, empty. When compared to the fact that he might be dead tomorrow, everything was pointless. It just didn't make any ...
[Ryan is on board a plane experiencing violent turbulence] Navigator C-2A: What's the matter Commander? You don't like flying, huh? Aw, this is nothing! You should've been with us five, six months ago! Whoa! You talk about puke! We ran into a hailsto...
Seaman Jones: [Jonesy is teaching Beaumont] Hear it now? Beaumont: [resigned] No. Seaman Jones: Beaumont, at Caltech we used to do this in our sleep! You hear it now? Beaumont: Wait a minute... Seaman Jones: Uh oh... Beaumont: Disparaged surface clut...
Private Witt: I remember my mother when she was dyin', looked all shrunk up and gray. I asked her if she was afraid. She just shook her head. I was afraid to touch the death I seen in her. I couldn't find nothin' beautiful or uplifting about her goin...
Never let a red line become the cage from which there is no escape. Constricting yourself in statements without any actions coming forth in the future in not engaging in compromise or negotiation will hang you on a tightrope by your own tongue. More ...
When Tana was six, vampires were Muppets, endlessly counting, or cartoon villains in black cloaks with red polyester lining.
We were of thirteen minds, like a tree, in which there is one Red-tail and eleven squirrel parts.
...if you've never been cussed out by a Siamese, you don't know what profanity is all about!
