Well, marriage doesn't function in the way it used to in terms of deciding our fate, but it's in our heads, and it determines a lot of our actions. Like, right now, if you think about gay marriage - and they just started having the first gay marriage...
Nobody should mistreat anybody... what I think this reveals is that - the interviewer that asked me these questions even used the words with me, 'I think your views are destructive' - so what that shows me is that all of us who really think deeply ab...
In a perfect world, I would like to do as many seasons of 'Workaholics' as possible, as long as people still like the show and Comedy Central will still have us. And doing movies, writing my own movies and doing movies with my friends. I think that w...
They're making so few movies that you really just have to make it. It's going to be the only way you end up getting work. I don't believe anyone's going to really go out on a limb and just throw millions of dollars on someone that's not been proven. ...
I definitely want to do more movies, and I'm also a writer, so I have a few screenplays that I'm working on, one of them based off my one-woman show that I used to do in New York. Two of the screenplays I've written by myself, and then I'm also worki...
The only reason I'm ever in character as 'Larry The Cable Guy' is because that's what I'm hired to do. In my movies, obviously they hired 'Larry The Cable Guy' to be 'Larry The Cable Guy.' When I do my shows, I'm 'Larry The Cable Guy.' When I do Jay ...
Byron McElroy: [while observing various drawings on Potter's wall that show the anatomies of various animals, while Potter treats McElroy to a bullet wound] What the fuck kind of doctor are you anyway? Doc Potter: It's nice to have a conversation wit...
David Shayne: Maybe Olive's got stage fright. Maybe she won't show. Julian Marx: Not Olive. That dame doesn't have a nerve in her body. I don't think her spinal cord touches her brain.
Dr. Emmett Brown: Let me show you my plan for sending you home. Please excuse the crudity of this model. I didn't have time to build it to scale or paint it. [reveals intricate tabletop model of the town square] Marty McFly: [impressed] It's good.
[Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude] Sherry in 'Logjammin': [on video] You must be here to fix the cable. Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here. The Dude: He fixes the cable? Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous...
[showing Charles one of his window equations] Nash: This is a group playing touch football. This is a flock of pigeons fighting over bread crumbs. And this is a woman chasing a man who stole her purse. Charles: John, you watched a mugging. That's wei...
Lili Von Shtupp: Hello, cowboy. What's your name? Tex: Tex, ma'am! Lili Von Shtupp: "Texmam"? Tell me, Texmam, are you in show business? Tex: Well, no... Lilly von Schtupp: Then why don't you get your fwiggin' feet off the stage?
Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends. Cookie Fleck: Hundreds. Gerry Fleck: Hundreds? Cookie Fleck: [Thinks] ... Yeah, hundreds. Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that! Not that... Not that I didn't have quite the reputation myself. I was known b...
Buck Laughlin: Doctor, question that's always bothered me and a lot of people: Mayflower, combined with Philadelphia - a no-brainer, right? Cause this is where the Mayflower landed. Not so. It turns out Columbus actually set foot somewhere down in th...
[On why he can't dance] Gerry Fleck: I can't dance, I can't dance, I've got two left feet! Cookie Fleck: I thought he was kidding. Gerry Fleck: But I wasn't. I was born with two left feet.
Bulge: [interrupting Gerry and Cookie in the studio while they're recording] Cookie? Cookie Fleck: Yeah? Bulge: Cookie Guggleman? Cookie Fleck: Yeah. Do I know you? Bulge: Does this ring a bell? [singsongs] Bulge: "I'm not wearing underwear". Cookie ...
Hamilton Swan: Honey, I'm thinking of switching to the mock turtleneck? Meg Swan: Is that not breathing? Hamilton Swan: Well, it's breathing now, but it'll be hot down there. I could go with the lambswool, but then again, you'll see a lot of khaki do...
Buck Laughlin: Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!
Dr. Theodore W. Millbank III: And really, I think what we're talking about is standards, basically; very, very specific, rigid, you could say, but in this world where would we be without them, I think. And notice where we are.
In Ghazalia, Mr. Hussein showed his contempt for the majority Shiites in ways large and small. He refused to allow them even one mosque, while the Sunnis had nearly a dozen. To worship, the Shiites had to cross an inconveniently located bridge over t...
I lived on my own when I was living in New York City when I was 18, working on a show. And that definitely kind of grows you up a little faster than a normal 18-year-old in college, so I think so. I think I've got some street smarts.
