[from Director's Cut] Ash: What are you? Are you me? Evil Ash: Whad are do? Are do be? HAHAHAHAHAH! You sound like a jerk! Ash: Why ya doin' this, huh? Evil Ash: Oh, you wanna know? 'Cause the answer's easy! I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! You're...
In prehistoric times, early man was bowled over by natural events: rain, thunder, lightning, the violent shaking and moving of the ground, mountains spewing deathly hot lava, the glow of the moon, the burning heat of the sun, the twinkling of the sta...
Naw, Jem. I think that there is just one kind of folks. Folks." Jen turned and punched his pillow. WHen he settle back his face was cloudy. He was going in to one of his declines, and I grew wary. His brows came together; his mouth became a thin line...
Loss invites reflection and reformulating and a change of strategies. Loss hurts and bleeds and aches. Loss is always ready to call out your name in the night. Loss follows you home and taunts you at the breakfast table, follows you to work in the mo...
She studied me with concern. She touched the new streak of gray in my hair that matched hers exactly—our painful souvenir from holding Atlas's burden. There was a lot I'd wanted to say to Annabeth, but Athena had taken the confidence out of me. I f...
For a moment I am jealous: He has grown up here, fearless, happy. Perhaps he will never even know about the world on the other side of the fence, the real world. For him there will be no such thing. But there will also be no medicine for him when he ...
Gru: We have located a shrink ray in a secret lab. And once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the TRUE crime of the century! [in a sinister tone] Gru: We... are going to steal... [the minions pull out their weapons] Gru...
Butler: [Answering door] Yes? Indiana Jones: [In Scottish accent] Not before time! did you intend to leave us standing on the doorstep all day? we're drenched [sneezes in butler's face] Indiana Jones: Now look, I've gone and caught a sniffle Butler: ...
Janet: No further questions your honor. Roy: ['Roy' emerges] Where the hell do you think you're going? Janet: Excuse me? Roy: Hey you look at me when I'm talkin' to you, bitch! Judge Miriam Shoat: Mr. Stampler! Roy: Fuck you, lady! Come here! [Roy ju...
Paul: Alonzo, there's two shots left in that other stinger. We need to just kill your boy right now and say Roger got him coming through the door. Alonzo: We ain't killing nobody. This guy's got the magic eye. I can feel it. Just had a little freak-o...
Bill Sampson: The Theatuh, the Theatuh - what book of rules says the Theater exists only within some ugly buildings crowded into one square mile of New York City? Or London, Paris or Vienna? Listen, junior. And learn. Want to know what the Theater is...
John Bender: [Imitating his Father] Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk. [Imitating his Mother] John Bender: You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful. [Father's voice] John B...
Try to roll with the punches. Keep your chin up. Don’t take any wooden nickels. Vote Democrat in every election. Ride your bike in the park. Dream about my perfect, golden body. Take your vitamins. Drink eight glasses of water a day. Pull for the M...
My father spent a long time looking at The Book of Summers, turning each page with solemnity. I watched him, seeing it all again through his eyes. A world that he was never a part of, one that I’d purposefully kept hidden from him, thinking that it...
These days every morning begins like a joke you think you have heard before, but there is no one telling it whom you can stop. One day it's about a cow who walks into a bar, then about a man with a big nose on his honeymoon, then about a kangaroo who...
I settled on the floor and whispered to Sam, “I want you to listen to me, if you can.” I leaned the side of my face against his ruff and remembered the golden wood he had shown me so long ago. I remembered the way the yellow leaves, the color of ...
It was becoming more and more evident that Salem was a town that celebrated individuality, a real live-and-let-live kind of place. Melody felt a gut punch of regret. Her old nose would have fit in here. "Look!" She pointed at the multicolored car whi...
I stopped right in front of him, personal space be damned, and asked, “Can we do this again?” He flashed me his gorgeous smile, dimples and all. “Yeah... I’d like that.” I smiled right back. I turned and pulled open the door, holding it for...
...I'm a fool. I expect too much, then I'm angry because nothing ever works out the way I want. When I was young and full of hopes and aspirations, I didn't know I would get hurt so often. I think I'll get tough and won't ache again, then my fragile ...
Dale, a Plutonian Dreg Bug, the kind with seventeen eyes and a bad temper, got nailed in one of his eyes by a wild dart. Fight broke out when he punched Earl in the nose. Earl’s nose is very sensitive, hell it’s how he sees, sort of. Earl plopped...
Capt. McCluskey: I thought I got all you Guinea hoods locked up! What the hell are you doing here? Michael: What happened to the men who were guarding my father, Captain? Capt. McCluskey: I pulled them guys off of here, eh, now get away from this hos...
